Tuesday, May 31, 2005


for the 5th time in as many days, i've had to watch fuckers pee in openly public places (ie busy sidewalks along bike routes on crowded thoroughfares). Why the fuck to drunk old fuckers, fat old fuckers, and regular white, mexican, and middle eastern trash fuckers have to stand right in plain eyesight of passersby with their itty bitty wankers out peeing. go behind a bush or a car and do it. I understand the call of the wild calls at odd times but shit man punch your prostate and pee out of view. FUCK that shit is disgusting and I gotta go by it on the bike?!? I have half a mind to pull out the bike pump and whack it as I go by. They weren't even homeless, I'd understand then, the world deals you a shitty hand you play it and lose, so shit on it however you gots to but damn these guys didn't look homeless. I'm done, next time I hit them with a squirt from the water bottle and let it be that.

Did I already tell you?

That I love the fact that there is unlimited amounts of Hot Cocoa at my work. Freaking awesome.

Plus I'm a pretty bad american. I forgot and left my flag hanging outside all night last night with no light on it.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

something after nothing

Didn't do much yesterday other than want to punch a car salesaman. Today, I made it to chinatown and back in under 2 hours and then started making Bob Barker shirts. So if someone gets on the Price is Right on Tuesday and they have a yellow Bob Barker shirt, I made it. Theres 20 of them wearing the same shirt so they shouldn't be hard to miss. It was a long day of screening and I have a nice minor sunburn. Every week I seem to be getting a bit more melanin. Takes about 2 days to turn to tan and if you know me I seldom have a good tan, just a hue of pink, but now I'm doing aight. After Costa Rica I should have me a nice tan. I know I shouldn't be bragging and I seldom look for sun as I want my skin to look good at 70, but occasionally I bust one out. My arms legs and face are nice after my bike rides.

Bbq tonight with some old friends over here that I haven't seen in some time, Should be cool and relaxed. I'm flying Old Glory outside too. I hate my government, but love my country is my stance right now, and those men and women should be honored no matter who tells them what to do, as they've paid the sacrifice to make sure I can live the way I do.

Wish you all a good weekend, and some a better than good for the remainder, you know who you are. Next week we're having the jumbo bbq so get out here by 4:27 next saturday and you can have some kabobs and chicken and veggies, and alot of bad beer. (cause it's budget beer themed, you gotta love the Pabst Blue Ribbon, I mean, it won a ribbon for chrissakes!!!). So if you know someone in the military or lost someone or know a vet, go out of your way to thank them, it was their job, so this is yours.

And I dunno about you, but i think Danica Patrick is damn cute. Tiny, and a chubby face. Whats with me and alpha females.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

i hate car salesmen

I went with my mom to go look at cars as she wants to buy one this weekend. The first place we went to was straightup and didn't really bother me at all. He wasn't one of the guys out front that stand in the pack and go red car right, white car left. I got this bitch, and so on and so forth. He was really cool and up front. Plus they had a bbq with chicken patties and nachos. I was happy to eat a bit.

the second place we went to the guy she had the appointment with straight up told her he was going to have someone else help herand he discounted her immediately and this prickless fuck came up and started talking to her in a tone that you'd talk to a child that had every sentence ending as a question. He asked her what color she wanted and she told him and he said "oooh, that ones really pretty isn't it?" i busted out the C'MON, man! and thats when she stopped talking to him and started talking to the guy that she originally had the appt with. They both kept trying to get her to drive the car as the one guy apparently had someone else he was helping and needed to buy some time, but mom said nope don't need to drive it, I want this number, how much you're marking it up and what you can do for me in getting the one I want as I already know what exactly I want and what price I'm looking for. This dipshit kept trying to get her to drive it until I said, she doesn't want to drive it, she wants teh numbers, she's said that twice. (he still asked her one more time). idiot took her to an office and made her wait and I argued with mom to put the guy in check and say something to REALLY assert herself and not let this punk kid try to dumb her down. She yelled at me about her age and the fact she's not stupid and she'd handle him. I told her I had to wait outside or I'd say something to him to make him feel as meaningless as he was cause he lost the sale within the first 10 seconds of talking to us. Either way I waited outside and listened to the packsharks curse like crazy and bad mouth women, even this nasty skank of a salesman was talking shit about women buyers. I had half a mind to go over there and rip them, but i realized society needs bottom feeders like these to do the work that I would not do. (seriously, i'd be suicidal if I had to do that shit). To make a short story longer, mom walked out on him after she wouldn't tell the kid what the deal she got at the other place and let this pissant know that if he wanted to deal he could call her. I just wish she let him know how quickly he had lost the sale and why. If I had to buy cars all the time, i'd push alot of these people to off themselves or quit. GodDamn, i'm still raw about it.

Friday, May 27, 2005

don't look at it if you get freaked out...seriously

Really, I'm not joking, it'll give you nightmares.

Go ahead, if your curiosity is getting the best of you, but I'm telling you, just don't look at it.


shit is plain scary. Linda Blair didn't look that bad for a living person.

nice friday

I went and picked up my backpack. It's big, but screw suitcases when i have this kind of technology. only $100 bucks and has almost all teh bells and whistles.

1/2 day at work today too. Considering fridays are pretty dead anyways the number of people calling in computer questions drastically reduces when it prefaces a 3 day weekend. Boring, i read alot and waited for the hour that felt like 3 to finish and I got out. Now i'm just gonna sit, design with music as loud as I want, then go for a bike ride.

Saw Star Wars last night. It was pretty good. Far better than the last two. Same bad dialogue, but harkening back to the original trilogy much more. See it digitally if you can, sound is nuts, and colors are quite nice. So, I say coo, I'm out.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

mmmmmmmmmmm, goddamnit

for dinner we had bbq. corn on the cob, green salad, steaks, tritip, buffalo sausages, and grapes. damn good, all of us enjoyed and ate heartily.

then we watched lost. I gotta say, I'm a lost junkie. So are the other 4 but none so much as Darren, Jaime and I. Jaime probably the most. She can't handle the suspense. Shit gets to her. She punches and complains, and gets angry. But so do I, but I don't have anyone to punch. Damn them! If you wanna talk about it, lemme know, It's like crack and I have many theories. I just must voice them somewhere. I can't handle it. This last episode only threw a tiny little bone. Tiny. Little. Bone. God Damn them! What is the significance of the boy?!? What happens to the raft? Why is the hatch so deep. Whats down there? Why do those people have a boat, with gas, with lights? another gun? Where is Sawyer? WHY? WHY? WHY? What the hell? Damn you JJ Abrams for killing ALIAS and focusing on quality programming. This is a book I can't finish cause you won't let me! Best show on TV hands down. And now its off for months! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!



i don't know what to title this

I just got news that my buddy MasterDean got his visa extension. That is good news. I knew he was bummed not getting any news about it, but he'll be here for a while yet. Shit i need to go diving with the fukker. Haven't been with him and he's the master diver so he should be rollin with us at some point. We gotta get him a better job in an area closer to the valley. So here's to you Dean, we'll celebrate next weekend at the bbq.

Now my other question is related to my bike rides. You may know that while I exercise I like to keep to myself but there are two girls that always jog on my route and I must say, a girl that looks good sweating and without makeup, is a plus. Is it a breach of ettiquette to strike up a conversation whilst exercising? I wouldn't do it normally and especially if it would seem sleezy. I'm not really the sleezy type but dang, to just get someone to join me in the afternoon ventures would be cool, plus they're cute as hell. One has a really nice pooch belly, that I hope she doesn't lose. Yeah so if I'm stuck with the quick 5 second nod and ride by, thats cool, I just don't know what one would do if one did do something. Not a big picker upper. I wait for the mutual vibe or maintained glances and I can't do that in 5 seconds.

soooooo, weigh in



Yeah I dunno, if you know me I post these. The ones where I string the subject lines of spam are better but you must acclimate to my spam obsession.

Make center port bed above love. Bird, industry, need like, down
mark. Slow, a, sight sudden, wind father. Map, time, complete
sudden, heart each, short. Could feet tree, boat. Will these
represent also, bird. End what earth team, stop, get, very.
Material wing, store space. Own forest, learn, small the pose,
night. Trip of study together question why country. Find as
certain. Stay, die lost space spread, earth head. End order
world, control.
Phone: 704-659-3724
Mobile: 815-829-3205
Email: deshaun.stafford@homechoice.co.uk

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

one million expletives

I just spent 2 hours trying to go 12 miles. goddammnit to hell. i should've just gone to teh beach.

just sad

I was driving into work this morning on the 405 and observed a calvin sticker peeing on Betty Boop. Now how wrong is that. What could Betty have possibly done to Calvin to pee on her. Maybe they're just into the whole golden shower thing, but I can understand peeing on truck logo's, i can understand peeing on Bin Laden, I can really understand peeing on "la migra" but Betty Boop? C'mon people thats just wrong. First Calvin was never meant to be shown publicly peeing. Second he isn't EVER meant to bow or pray before a cross. Calvin and Hobbes' whole essence was that they questioned faith, and questioned gods existence. And never peed on each other. They were quite the existentialists while still being naturally transcendental. Thoreau and Emerson would be turning in their graves.

There's my piece.

Monday, May 23, 2005


i got home today after polishing off my energy drink, all ready to go for a hard bike ride, and as I pull up, my neighbors, jennifer, emma, and dalton are sitting on my front porch waiting for me. They ask what I'm doing and I let them know that my energy level is pretty high for a bike ride. Jenn asked me if I wanted to put it off and draw chalk on the sidewalk. I say of course but I have to change after playing a quick game of tag with emma, I changed and ran out. She wasn't really in the mood to draw so I let her know she could help me transplant my anaheim chile plant into a bigger pot so it could actually grow. We do that for about 45 minutes and she sucessfully answers all my questions as to why plants need bigger pots and what they need to grow (ie sunlight, and water). After pulling out a nail that was in the soil and removing some of the double big gulp amount of water, the plant is ready so we named it Willy, because it is a chile. Hence the clever name, Chili Willi. She then beat me 6 consecutive times on our bikes and I tied her twice "riding as hard as I could." wink, wink.

After that, I was just hot. The weather is getting warmer and the winter coat adorning the top of my cabeza couldn't take it and had to be removed. Sorry, Samantha, it's just gone. So i no longer have any hair over a 1/4 inch on my head. I must say it looks pretty good. My face is skinny. I must not be drinking as much as I have in the past thanks to not giving a rats ass about the ex!

So there. Thats my afternoon in a nutshell. I must go make some shirts.

am i weird or ocd?

Now I wash my hands BEFORE i go to the bathroom in a public restroom. I will do it again after, and then also deposit used papertowels behind the door as i don't like touching the knob. I know 90% of that sounds, well, sanitary. But the washing before, isn't that just good protocol? You'd think your hands were dirtier before, and your neighbors downstairs would remain clean. Unless one is not taken to being clean of course, but that wouldn't make me out of the ordinary would it?

Sunday, May 22, 2005

this weekend was hot

and not in a Paris Hilton kinda way. I din't do shit today until late afternoon. I got to go to the scuba expo and check out cool gear and interesting new innovations in underwater living. I talked to my dive master who gave me a good yell and a huge hug which was unexpected but welcome. I also saw Matt who offered to just go diving with me and hook me up with furthur certifications at no charge. Just said he'd review, take me under and test me. I should know it. I'm pretty quick to learn this stuff as i love the water and being in it. I'm a fish, always have been. what can I say. I'm going to do some artwork, logos, identity, which in the professional world would be damn expensive, but I'll work out to get a ton of gear for free, and thats the expensive part of diving is getting gear that you like and is workable for what you do, so I'm excited about that. All I need is a bouyancy control device (vest that fills and empties with air that attaches to the air cylinder. A decent suit, and a regulator that provides the air to your mouth. After that, a computer (watch) would be nice too. I should be able to get most of that stuff or get a fatty discount on it. Darren and Jaime accompanied me and we had a damn good time and went to the Yard House in long beach and had some bears on the water and some good food.

Today, I woke up early sat outside and read the paper and roasted my ass. It was an easy 90 degrees by 10am. I then cleaned my room, did laundry and then proceeded to nap/watch movies. Until mom called and let me know my brother, his wife and my niece and nephew were over for dinner and that I should come over. Well forget everybody else but the two rugrats were there, so it was playtime and mom has pumpin a/c so who am I to not rush over. I did and got to play in the sprinklers with chris. I want to explain how fun that was but, i'm saving it for me cause it was that good and I don't wanna share. Damn good thing i took clothes over for mom to mend as i was soaked head to toe. We ate, we played hide and seat and I sang to Emily. She just stares and stares and her eyes are huge and blue as the sky. I also got an anaheim chili plant that I'll have to transplant tomorrow as I have more laundry to do and I'm pooped and back to the furnace that I live in. Hope y'all had as marvelous of a weekend.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

dodger games aren't what they used to be...

But they're not bad when they're angel wins. Darren, Jaime, Darren's pop and I all went to the Freeway Series last night and the Angels flat out whooped the Dodgers 9-0. I got outfitted in my Angels outfit, and rolled with a bunch of hardcore Dodger fans. That stadium is becoming more and more ghetto. If you're familiar with Raider Nation or have been to a dodger game in the last couple seasons, you know what I mean. It's flat out violent, nothing but down home brown Cholos everywhere. When I sat down a shaved head gang banger with a game long foul mouth said "aaaaaaah shit, i gotta sit next to an angel fan?" Before I sat down I stared at him and said "yeah, and?" he just looked away as I was twice his size and not scurred of him. They were pirating seats as they had to move multiple times until they finally got kicked out, but there were about a dozen fights in the stands one of which was a pummeling where all you could see were fists. Another about 6 rows behind us where a bunch of Mexicans were heckling an Angel fan (older white dude) for about 3 innings. This guy was taking it and laughing for the most part until he just couldn't take it much more and he let them know that if this is the best fan this team has to offer, it's no reason the team sucks. They took that as a challenge to fight and got in his face. He didn't want any but would've taken a couple of them. When security came down the motherfuckers blamed it on the Angel fan. A bunch in the crowd refuted that and as security was escorting these guys away, the angel fan rightfully blew them a kiss and they lost it. It took like 6 security guards to hold them back. I've been to like 3 dozen games or so at Dodger stadium in the last two seasons and the fights just keep comin. It's sad. These fans aren't here to watch the game, they're here to get drunk and be dumbasses. Just a bunch of stupid assholes showing up. Makes me really like Angel stadium where that rarely happens. I'm not saying... cause it's like 70% percent white people (as at one point it was about 90%), there just isn't a gangbanger element. There's plenty of latinos at angels games now cause of the owner, but they come to watch baseball, and thats it. But gangbangers, beer and baseball don't mix. If you're a Giants fan at dodger stadium, you're fucked, seriously. You WILL get into a fight, just to defend yourself.

Now its saturday, and i'm going to the Dive Expo in Long Beach. Gotta rap with my dive instructor and see if I can do some design bartering with him and look at some cool shit. I tell ya, i'm hooked on this scuba thing. freaking cool.

Friday, May 20, 2005

i need suggestions

Aight i'm trying to figure out what color to dye my hairs. I've done bleach blonde, I've done dirty blonde. I don't want jet black. Sorry I'm just not that emo. My punk buddies would kick my arse too. I'm not all that sure about auburn either. So this leaves me in a current dilemna. Do I have a streaking party and end up looking like some 17 year old girl on myspace? What are the options? I've got to start covering up the grey that's surfacing. good god are there that many? Atleast I doubt I'll ever lose my hair. Both gramps' had a full head of hair late into life. I know what cut i want,but what color. The good thing is, if it sucks big time, I'm going to shave it all in a few weeks anyways.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

go ahead make fun of me

After my long bike ride to moms for dinner and back (frightening), we went for sushi. Next door I found a knitting shop. They do classes. I want to learn to knit so I'll have to mental note it. Seriously I want to learn, it looks very zen, plus you get really cool personal gifts out of it. Yuko always said she'd go with me and Jaime would be down too.

Seriously, go ahead make fun, I'll knit one and purl you twice in the eye. Plus you won't get a damn thing from me. Be nice and I'll knit you a scarf or a sweater. I know, I'm huge and kinda scary looking and maybe I should buy a chihuahua to go with the anti-image, but we won't go that far. I'm a pacifist now...unless you really piss me off. it's the irish.

My neighbor wants me to go out with her 39 year old friend. She pressed for it even after I snorted. (it required a snort). She was quick to let me know that I could work at home or do nothing as long as I was as good with raising kids as I seemed with hanging out with kids. Basically she wants a sperm donor and a father around. I guess love isn't high up on the list yet. She also pointed out that I wouldn't have to work at all considering she's crazy successful. I snorted again. That clock is tickin. I think I can hear it. She knows I'm good with kids as i gladly play for hours with hers and my nephews and I will with the niece as soon as she can go long enough without needing to suckle a breast or anything. But it makes you wonder why a successful goodlooking woman in her late 30's hasn't already latched onto someone. Is she just that focused on career or is she AlphaNuts? I'm going with option 2 if she's interested enough to consider a 28 year old. Go figure. SNORT!!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

ssssshhhhhh, revolution being planned pass it on

ask me how, I'll point out, WOW!

find me pictures, make me mixtures,

sing a song, bang a gong, get it on.

piss off, piss up, piss on, piss down.

spray paint, kick taint,

paste stickers, loud bickers.

make them hear, far and near, no more fear

design, benign, malign, out of line.

jesus-creeps, heaps, weeps, steep, no cline,

false prophets for profit.

don't stand, don't sit,

move around, take them down.

watch the hit with this shit.

subversion, immersion, coersion,

subjugation, eradication, emancipation.

mass destruction, bass erection

as much sense, loss of cents

explosion, implosion.

REDEFINE freedom, or are we....?

shoot at it 120 times.

I'd like to add trite commentary, but just won't. for those that have called me a pussy.

Pit Bull Kills Toddler in West Virginia
May 18, 2005 11:48 AM EDT
HUNTINGTON, W.Va. - A pit bull that had once bitten a person fatally mauled a young girl before being subdued by firefighters using a fire extinguisher, officials said.

The girl, who was 2 or 3 years old, was pronounced dead at a hospital following the attack Tuesday at the dog owner's home, police Sgt. Dan Underwood said. Her name was not released.

"The girl, her mother and at least two other people were apparently hanging out on the house's porch," Underwood said. "The homeowner apparently told them all to stay out of the house where the dog was."

It was not known what provoked the dog.

Huntington firefighter Jason Price said the dog was wild-eyed and the hair on the back of its neck was raised, and that it rammed the door like a bull.

"Hollywood couldn't have made this dog look more evil," he said.

The pit bull's owner, who also was not identified, had posted several "beware of dog" signs and was keeping the dog inside the house because it had previously bitten another person, said Debbie Young, office manager for Huntington-Cabell-Wayne Animal Control.

"A lot of people are under the impression that once they put those warning signs, they are in the clear. ... They are responsible for that animal," Young said.

No charges have been filed, authorities said Wednesday.

Young said animal control officials will ask a judge to order that the dog be destroyed.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


I think I'm recovered after about 10 hours of sleep, but I'm still in a pretty foul mood. I'm gonna read through some familiar passages so I can write, but I'm feeling like staying home. My quiet side kicks in here as I've found it's best to just be quiet rather than let someone have it becuase of my raw attitude. I need something good to happen, anything.

Monday, May 16, 2005

sweet pain, mother in heaven

I'm sore, and my shoulder hurts, I want to go back to bed. I want a massage, and i'll pay one million dollars for one right now. i think the truck that ran me over, backed over me a few times. spirit is good but running for the boat with all that gear took my shoulders out.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

my weekend

Catalina Island, finishing my scuba cert.

Saturday morning 430 am, we drive to Long Beach and wait for the 615 boat. We take the 1 hour long boat ride through nothing but fog the whole way, until we're about a 1/4 mile from the island and it opens up and is gorgeous. Avalon is a very cool town. Everybody has golf carts instead of cars. There are about 4000 people living on the island and they all have carts, some plain, some really cool, some super beat up, some custom. We get off the boat and go straight to casino point which is where the big ballroom is that all the soldiers used to go for USO dances during ww2. There is a jetty behind it that everybody gears up as that is where the marine sanctuary is. No fishing, no boats, no nothing, just divers. Lots of em. probably about 100-150. Thats a lot of flippin gear. These bags are not small. The tanks are not light.

We set up our gear and go through descriptions of the dive and what we're going to review, learn, whatnot. The conditions were pretty ideal. surface temp was like 75 degrees. water temp was 52, visibility under water is 30 feet. we had full suits, hoods, gloves, and booties so theres no shivering, plenty of sweating. We go down the stairs and stumble over some boulders and into the water and we're in. Pretty much just drops off right there and goes down about 10 feet, then 15, then 20 down to 70 feet really quick, you don't even realize it until you look at your gauges. There is a kelp forest. It looks like seaweed on the top of the water but when you're at the bottom you see it grows from the bottom and has tons of fish hanging around it and goes all the way to teh top of the water. We get acclimated and then you sink yer arse to the bottom and then swim through the kelp forest. The fish lots and lots of fish, spotted bass they look like plain ole fish with spots, bright, bright orange Garibaldi, and blackfish which look more blue and have an electric blue stripe going along the length of their back. All of these fish swim right up to within and inch of your face. Hell they're as curious about us as we are of them. There are tons of sea cucumbers with actually look like big poop logs. Everytime i saw one I chuckled to myself. There are tons of fish that look like kelp, or rocks, or sand and you just have to be close enough to see their eyes and then you see the whole contour. but they're well camoflaged (yeah i don't wanna spell check that one)

We finished 3 dives (20 minutes, 42 minutes and 32 minutes) and went to the hotel which was nice, but it was TINY with two twin beds. Master Vic took a nap, while Matt (the instructor) and I killed beers. The first 3 tasted like gold running down my throat. I guess i was pretty dehydrated cause it was just damn good to put it down fast. We then went to dinner at an Italian place on the beach with the whole class. There were 10 of us and we people-watched the boardwalk and had appetizers and cocktails. I ate and ate and ate, then ate the rest of vics pesto and veggies, then ate the rest of Matt's pesto and veggies. The hunger was not too much unlike the beer thirst. Plus it was a long day of serious workout between the diving and the carrying of the gear. The dive master, the instructor and I went to a gourmet coffee place and i got a chocolatiatto. GOOD and full of caffeine. Everyone else went to bed. It was like 730. Matt and I decided to hit the bars (and theres alot of them). Apparently it's quite easy for non locals to hook up but we just bounced from place to place drinking just about everything until the last place at the nightclub. We were pretty drunk and went back to the hotel to find people wandering around like us so we grabbed the rest of the beers that we had in the room and hit some guys room that had him and about 7 girls in it. Nothing fantastic at all and shit for conversation and not a single bright bulb in the lamp, so we finally crashed at about 330 just so we could get up at 7am and hit breakfast and dive logging with the group. Safe to say I didn't quite make that one. Matt and Vic came and grabbed me afterwards and we went diving again. We coulda gone for 3 dives but I found out that the dives aren't too fun with a nasty hangover. (why did i drink Jaeger? Don't even like the shit). That dive was our final and all we needed for our certification. Vic, Glenn (the master diver), and I packed our gear and headed for the boat at about 11am. Did we get on the boat? nope, how bout the next one? nope, the one after that? we were supposed to but our tix were for 6pm (so we could dive all day by ourselves if we wanted to. Well if your ticket is for a later boat then you have to go standby and we didn't get the first couple and finally did with the third and we ran to get the gear. I was running in flip flops with two LARGE 60 lb fully loaded gear bags, two bags of weights, about 70 lbs, and my backback of about 20 lbs, just so they could deny us. (i think this is why my shoulder feels like it was ripped from the socket). So we spent most of the afternoon sitting on the pier waiting for a boat. I introduced Glenn to my ipod as his minidisc wasn't working and he proceeded to listen to it for about 5 and a half hours. Glenn is crazy cool, turns 42 in a couple weeks. He's british, and has a family in malibu. He talks like a sailor is raucous and brash but is crazy trustworthy, knowledgable, and cool. He liked one of our shirts that I was wearing so we may do some work for him, but he asked me if I could design him a logo and we'd barter. He could get me a $900 regulator at cost and that's how he'd pay me. Also a dive watch/computer about 900-1200 for dirt cheap. He came up to me after a couple hours with the pod and told me he was going to pick one up this week and that my music collection was pretty sick and if I could just load my music onto it for him and we'd barter some more. I said hell yeah. All these people felt like they'd been my friends for years and I could say anything to. Freaking good peeps.

So we finally got onto a boat at 2:45 after I really went off on the guy that blocked us from getting on the boat because we had gear and it wouldn't fit. I went off on him and he got a middle finger to his face and a pretty severe, curse laden ass chewing. I told him I knew he didn't care but that he was a fucking asshole anyways especially now that I had to carry all that gear back with the sweat puring off my body. I smelled like a buffalo. Sunscreen, tons of salt water, rubber sweaty wetsuit smell, hours of sitting in the sun after diving. I was now ripe to say the least. People moved away from me when we got on the boat so i just went outside and watched for flying fish for the hour ride back. I was still loving the perfect weather and wind on the water. I'm tired, a bit burned, all the hair on my arms is bleach blonde, and my hair is light. I'm ass tired, and almost as sore as I've ever been, it hurts to hold my arm on the steering wheel. Plus we managed to put three peoples gear and luggage with three full grown men into Dusty (my car). If you ever want to see what a camry looks like at that stage imagine it with an elephant sitting on the back. Pretty funny. I got a shower and aloe on me, a very large burrito in my belly and no alcohol. My hangover is finally gone. I'm not going to listen to dive instructors that tell me effects of drinking disappear the second you hit the water. Cause that's b.s.

I gotta say that it was one of the best experiences in my life and look forward to dives in tropical waters next month. Good people, good food, good location, good drink, good dives, good conversation, and the promise of hanging with them all again and again cause we'll be at the shop alot and the local dive spots. I'm going to bed. my gear is soaking, and it's 920 and still in the upper 80's and no A/C in this house. Dammnit!

Friday, May 13, 2005

I dare you.

I'm going to start buying bubbles in bulk and just leaving them in random places. I challenge anyone to walk buy and not pang to blow many, many bubbles. You can just be content to blow one wands worth. You have to challenge yourself to get the blow that releases tons, or the big big ones, and the long floating ones that seem float away forever.

I watched a lady that looked executive-ish standing outside an office building by herself (had to be in her mid to late 40's) blowing bubbles and all I could think of was to go join her. I was so damn jealous. I challenge you to try and walk by a bottle of bubbles and not desperately want to blow em.

I love the # 13. It's me lucky number.

Word of the Day for Friday May 13, 2005

triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun:

A morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th.

Thirteen people, pledged to eliminate triskaidekaphobia, fear of the number 13, today tried to reassure American sufferers by renting a 13 ft plot of land in Brooklyn for 13 cents . . . a month.
--Daily Telegraph, January 14, 1967

Past disasters linked to the number 13 hardly help triskaidekaphobics overcome their affliction. The most famous is the Apollo 13 mission, launched on April 11, 1970 (the sum of 4, 11 and 70 equals 85 - which when added together comes to 13), from Pad 39 (three times 13) at 13:13 local time, and struck by an explosion on April 13.
--"It's just bad luck that the 13th is so often a Friday," Electronic Telegraph, September 8, 1996

i was thinking

with gas prices in california (highest in the country) finally going down this week below 2.50 for 87, 2.92 for 92 I was thinking. If gas is one of the last precious resources, being less plentiful than gold, why the hell isn't it 10.00 a gallon. I bet a helluva lot of us would start riding bikes, no matter how far, there could be family sized sam pam bikes. SUV's wouldn't sell as much. I mean ultimately gas is mashed up dinosaurs, and last I checked there weren't that many of those left to die, so they won't last us through the next millenium. I was pretty pissed that I was paying $40 a tank but maybe I shouldn't be. I can be pissed that Mr. Bush(i will start referring to him as Mr. Bush in disrespect kinda like I refer to Ben Affleck as BenEh-fleck in disrepect) wants to drill in an arctic wildlife refuge in Alaska. But what are we to do with the insatiable lust for wasting that americans have.

I would like to introduce the new line of '05 Begley's (after mr. earthday himself Ed Begley-ala St. Elsewhere). As I'm contemplating buying a new car, i'm leaning less and less away from the full size pickup I want, to a hybrid. It'll pay for itself after a couple years. And maybe when that car dies, i can recycle it in someway, or find a way for it to biodegrade. So recycle people, for the love of god recycle, and walk when you can, ride a bike, teleport if you have to. Cause I can't justify bitching for high gas prices. I can only bitch about the moronic presidential administration.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

it's just damn nice in California

When I drive on Pacific Coast Hiway, I always have to think to myself that I'm driving on teh edge of a continent. It is one of the most beautiful expanses of road. It didn't hurt that it was near 80 and clear as anything, and I could see the channel islands on the horizon so the visibility was amazing. Damn beautiful area. If i could live anywhere it would be on a beach, preferably without that much traffic, but if I hadta, I take those tennie, tiny shacks for 2 million. It gets even better up north but damn is it nice to know I have that to drive, sit, hike, sleep, swim at my leisure. Beautiful, beautiful day. And saturday i get to dive in it. Supposed to be ideal conditions. Thats what I say! Ideal!

Hopefully I can rock my last haircut before I shave it all off next month. No way am I going to central america with long ass hair. Yeah, yeah I know, the curls are nice, the afro, I've definitely taken a liking too, but it's been 9 months since I've snipped a single hair and the mullet is starting to bug. Samantha and Adam are coming over and hopefully she can tame the party happenin in the rear. I'm gonna trim up the back and run a taper of uncut hair (like the grown out end of a mohawk, not shaved) to the back forming the start of an old school duck tail. I've wanted that for a while. She might color it. That I don't know, but we'll see as I'm gonna be in nothing but salt water this weekend. I dunno if that'll float. Hopefully I can get it as I love the long hair, but I can't stand hair on my neck and how it brushes against shirt collars, but a trim of this mop is needed. I'm going thru way too much wax to tame it. Yeah, i'm done, peedout.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

holy fundamentalist elmo

I was reading how the fundamental right is pressuring pbs to tone down their programming. How in holy shit can that happen? Because PBS will acknowledge the fact that there ARE alternative families out there? Not when a bunch of bible thumpers say what is wrong and what is not. c'mon, really! catholic priests are getting clipped for molestation everyday, tom delay, is well, tom delay. Newt Gingrich is popped for poppin, and bush couldn't string two cogent sentences together unless someone is whispering them in his ear, and he's not even good then. Why can't they go after fox. Put Family Guy on cable, i got it and I'll watch it, but FOX network is supposedly one of the most conservative networks but they put out the OC, and other dribble. The government funds violent video games enlisting programmers to create the machine that helps bring a desensitized soldier to kill without ever seeing an enemy. And these soldiers that were children that bought the games that have grown up killing people in a virtual environment learning to do it as effortlessly as they do coldly . It's almost like the 60's when the cia was importing heroine, and cocaine into the states to scare people into believing that we needed more military control. Create the crime and we create the need to spend disgusting amounts on defense budgets to fund the cold war. Who made America the most moral righteous country in the world. Thats why the rest of the wealthiest, most powerful nations distance themselves from us. And what is our response? "Fine I didn't want to play with you anyways, I've got better toys and cooler friends" all the while we're secretly not satisfied in the 3rd and 4th tier allies we have and don't want them to play with our illbegotten toys. I mean Canada is keeping clear of us, for chrissake.

The gist is I don't see anywhere on pbs where programming isn't educational. I mean c'mon, next they'll ban gay marriage on sesame street and burt and ernie will have to move to separate studio apts in jersey. It's just wrong; next they're gonna censor NOVA for not teaching creationism and antiques roadshow will be risque because of the 18 century corset that was found was too revealing. They're going to keep expanding social reforms but not budgeting it so bush can say he's expanded it. (it's like running to the shower when you get an unwanted phone call and saying that you can't talk cause you're in the shower; it's not a lie, I was in the shower!) Next comes art. it will still be created and strong opinions will be voiced but funding is going down because this government doesn't want to promote freedom of speech that is contradictory to the administrations policies. God damn this administration, god damn them to hell. Seriously, how many of them have sold their souls? I hope that this rollover of a democratic party can dig SOMETHING up and tear it all down. Until then contact me and we'll meet in the underground. I'll plaster this town with propoganda and take them down like a slow moving virus, before the rest of the world turns on us. It truly makes me sad to be an American. I'm proud and love this country but fear and loathe what it has come to represent.

yeah see? go after PBS and I go apeshit. dumb ass fuckers (sadly offensive imparitives is all i can break it down to)


I wish Elliott Smith was still alive and making music. There better be another album in the pipeline as I heard there were enough tracks from the newest album for a double lp. The more I listen to each album, in different moods, with and without headphones, the music keeps getting better and better. It is an aural delicacy.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

long hair vs. short hair

now, i was having the debate with a few people as to what looks better as far as hair on women, long hair vs short hair. My preference is if it's straight, dark, long and shiny, thats nice. But then again i like short, straight, wavy, funky, with barettes, or flowers or especially the, i'm not doing a damn thing to it, this is how it falls, and it still looks good, short hair(yeah, yeah runon sentences). I just don't know. I go in stages and am not sure what I'm at now. It's case by case as I appreciate them all as thats one of the first things I look at other than shoes and socks on a woman. (i have a thing for em-go figure).

I guess I should preface this by saying that the hairs gotta be dark. Blondes don't do a damn thing for me. Red either. Brown, dark brown, and black make me dizzy. I can't say that long hair past the butt is that nice as that is some seriously long hair and probably has a ton of split ends and birds nests and the such. I've seen it look good before, but not often. Other examples of good are also the baseball hat hair that just sticks out of a ball cap on girls. Thats nice too. As well as the just enough to pull it back in a small pony tail. Pigtails too, a woman that can still pull off pig tails is nice(and not in a St Pauli Girl way). Damn, you see? I just don't know. I like it all. I'll leave it at that.

I'll talk about socks later, but if you know me, you know I have a thing for socks. Girls in socks are very, very important. The odder themed socks are nice, as well as the all time favorite kneehigh argyles, or argyles in general. DAMN, thinking about em gets me in a huff. Aight, i'm needlessly working myself up.

Monday, May 09, 2005

gotta rant

okay so i used to be an officer in the graphic design club in school. we would organize the events that would occur on campus throughout the year. I'm long gone but the professor that runs the group (who was absent most of the time i was in it) asked my roommate (not me) to do the shirts for this years portfolio review. It's now an AIGA sponsored event, which is the nationally recoginzed graphic design group. Heres her emails:

Hey Tim,

I sent this to Oui but it did not go to him.

PS. Our SAGA president found a place that can do T-Shirts for $5.00 each, but the we found that quality might not be good. They said for $2 more we can get better quality. I told the SAGA kids that they want good quality. So They have to decide on which company, you or them to use.--Just an idea, you can put your company name or number on the shirt as advertisement. These shirts will be going to professional (these are given to our reviewers for free).

Here are the specs.

Date is May 20th

50 total

Want more extra large sizes, but was thinking, 20 extra large, 15 large and 10 medium, 5 small (OR WOMANS MEDIUM)

One color
See example

My response to her was that I could NOT lose money on this and the cheaper shirts were probably what she should go for as they were severly undercut, even for our "buddy discount" usual. Well this correspondence happened april 8th and now it is may 9th and the event is next week. She hit oyie up today asking if we would do them. I let her know that we're not pros and that if she wanted special colored shirts (which she did at the time, the price would get marked up) she would still be responsible for paying for those. And since we were not pros that if we messed up a couple shirts, that those would be discounted but still be in the amount of the invoice. We never heard from her.

Now I got along with her husband swimmingly and got along with her....okay at the best. We worked together doing odd projects but I think she always saw me as the pot smoking guy that kinda played to my own tune, which i was and never hid that, but if someone had something to say to me and it was knowledgable, then i recognized that and respected it and did my best to work with it, no questions/comments. I'm competant and get along well with those in authority positions as I can speak to just about anyone if it involves work and that I have a say, as long as they were being fair. In this case she bypassed me altogether and probably didn't like what I had to say.

This is business and I'm not a student anymore. I won't be played because I WAS a student. I know what I'm doing now, and if you waited this long, it's not because I didn't respond to you. I did, and fairly gave you an offer and you never responded. Instead you went to Oyie, who admittedly prefers doing the hands on screening and designing, because he's good at it. I like doing that as well, but excel more in the dealing end. Well anyway she changed up her tune a bit. We'll do the shirts, but I'll be damned if she doesn't sign a contract (shit, she's the one that told us not to do work without a contract-she'll now get one, and will pay). It just pisses me off. She routinely dismissed me in school, and does it again now. I'm not going to be overly nice to her. Her hubby, no prob, he and I are buddies, but she can honestly kiss my ass if she thinks I'm cutting her a deal because she was the instructor/overseer to the club. Fuck that, she was never around and never assisted me in my 2 semesters as being an officer of that thing. I was on my own for the most part, and had way too many invoices I had to track down on my own to get paid then, without a lick of help from her. She wanted the shirts for 5 bucks, which i won't do. Not if an institution is paying for it. I told her I'd go down as low as 7/per if I could get the colors she wanted. She wanted specialized colors which would have bumped the price/per to 9, which prompted the no response. Now she needs them badly because of her poor planning and only needs them in one color, which i'm happy to do at 7/per. If theres any f'd up shirts then i'll discount THOSE shirts, not the whole load. If she got a problem, well, consult the contract, which I'll be writing shortly. Fooya, you don't like it, get the fuck out. Thats why we're called bridgesburning toots.

Aight, I'm done, hadta get that off me, as she ruined my chi for the evening. You gotta know our history of respect/no respect.


I gotta say i like cooking. I've been doing alot of it the last three weeks just to eat healthier, and save money, as I had a ton of food in the freezer (thank you mr roper). I came home, lifted some weights (sorry emma i just wasn't in the mind frame to do chalk drawings but I thought of a theme continuing on my 8 day diving epic for tomorrow). I made up some pasta and green beans with sauteed onions in em.

It was a thinking afternoon. i lifted in lieu of my bike ride, its pretty much just me. I'm not a big fan of buddy lifting. I do my thing as i've been doing since football in high school. I don't like to talk, I don't like to watch tv or appreciate interuptions either. I can get into a zone and just challenge myself. After that I can cool down and keep the thinking to myself. I'm into that.

sidenote: I remember in the LoveBus, a tape got stuck in the tape player and the tape and radio stopped working. I was cool with it. It made me drive more slowly and let me think. For two years I let that thing go until Timmy broke the tape and got it out making the radio work. It was cool believe me I didn't need the distraction, but that in no way diminishes my love of music, as that love is rabidly true.

But I like the cooking as a cool down, hell, i just plain like cooking. it's an hour and a half of zen, I do the dishes while I'm cooking (because there is no dishwasher in the house), so why the hell not. It continues to let me think and it is peaceful and I do it slowly. I'll turn the ballgame on and listen to it out of one ear but I mostly just drift off and keep thinking. Don't get me wrong I love interacting while I cook. I always like cooking with my mom cause we put on good music and go with the mood and have good conversation and we'll do the dishes while we go (is that good training or what?). The ex wasn't into it. She didn't cook, and believed in leaving the dishes in the sink until mold grew on them, or I did them. She knew the rule of, if you didn't cook it, but you ate it, then you do the dishes, but ignored it. Sheeyit, I ain't with her am I? But cooking is a truly pleasant experience.

So my request is, do any of you 4 people that read this know of any good recipes? low fat, low salt (love me the spike salt substitute). I don't and won't cook with lard so leave those in the box. Not a huge swine fan either, but i'll add bacon if it sounds like it would be good(bacon wrapped rosemary chicken-gotta try that again with less rosemary, mmmmm with some cauliflower, celery, bell pepper medly). Love the chicken, ground beef,(not a ton of red meat here), and veggies, veggies, veggies. Love em... can't get enough of them. so hook a brotha up with your favorites, maybe we'll take turns cookin. I'm always game.



Sunday, May 08, 2005

by the way

and in no way should this be subscript

Happy Mother's Day to all you mom's

I was to the first to call (and wake up my mom) to wish her a happy day, wish I coulda spent more time with her.

you all are owed a great debt of gratitude for just being good loving mom's. i only know a few so you guys get a special one from me. one of the best hallmark holidays of them all.

i hate tests

Most people do really well in a classroom and not really well when they have to apply learned techniques. Well I'm the opposite. I'm extremely comfortable in water and just plain shitty on tests. Math, always my weakest point and sure 'nuff today it was again. I got dizzier taking the test than I did in the water. I was bolt upright upside down in 15 feet of water just hovering in space to see if I could do it and I had no problem. We had our final written exam and I failed it. Miserably. Vic didn't fare much better, failing as well. The master diver gave me a rash of shit in front of the class. That doesn't help when there is a 13 year old girl that did perfectly and finished first in the class. We had to go back and complete the test again and I passed but not by completing it impressively. I really was confused charting the dive stats for multiple dives. It is pretty complex and when you first look at a dive chart it's unreadable, but once you get the hang of it, the chart in essence should be easier, but not for me. I seriously think I have a math learning disability. Always have, and it's pathetic thinking that my mom is a high school math and trig teacher. She was not ever my best tutor, but she tried. None of her kids and wunderkinds at math but I'm just horrible. And today it showed. Out of 50 questions i think i had 35? and you can only miss 12. I got a 40 the second time around and the instructor admitted that two of the questions i shoulda had as they were ambiguous. But i passed and for my own peace of mind i will master these charts and tables as the open water dive in the pacific off catalina is next weekend and thats when the real deal starts. But i'm beat, my ears hurt, and i'm sore, my face is recovering from yesterdays burned face.

I went to moms and we had leftover dinner, and I cleaned for her. We talked about her roses and her family and geneology, then watched 60 minutes and I took out her garbage and teh such. I went in with my sister and we bought her a bunch of garden tools and equipment and she liked that. I came home and there was a note from my neighbor asking if I could draw chalk on the sidewalk with emma this week as they're going to atlanta to put an offer on a house, but gramma is watching them and wants us to spend normal time with kids. but the adendum on the note asked if i was interested in older women, 40 year old, older women. I declined. I don't want a sugar mamma, but hey who knows, she said she'd talk to me about it when she got back.

My ears hurt, pretty bad, and I have to rub aloe plant on my face. why the hell is it stickier than the 100% aloe from stores. Either way i've used it and it is much better than store stuff. I'm crapped, no sleeping in this weekend, and the vitamin d overload is starting to hit me.

okay new family guy on right now, time to watch one of few shows.

Saturday, May 07, 2005


so I'm tired, plenty tired, mostly vitamin D though, alot of sun, and my face is burned. Diving is fun as hell, i highly recommend it if affordable. it is not a cheap hobby. slept like shit and woke up at 5:45 then sat and studied. Master Vic and I had class from 8:30 to about 10:30. then got gear and went to Pepperdine University's pool. That school is just sweet, cliff side over the bluffs of malibu over looking the pacific. perfect day, blue skys 74 degrees. The valley i reside looked like it was gonna thunderstorm all day too. so ha! But putting the gear on and getting into the water with the first breaths is pretty exhilarating. equalizing the ears is difficult for the first couple trips to the bottom but you get used to plugging your nose, blowing and swallowing then it's cake. getting the bouyancy timing down is the hardest thing, too much air lost and you're at the bottom quick and that ain't good. too much air inflated into your vest and you shoot up to the top and thats really not good, but you get the hang of it quickly. I got to share respirators with MVic, and we got damn close to share air. and emergency pull techniques that were overtly sexual, so much so that this is the only place I will practice them, i think that shit was in the kama sutra.

I'm pooped though, it's fun as hell but alot of work. I have to be back up tomorrow morning only somewhat early. i'll be up by 6:30 to make some gourmet sandwiches of our own. good lunches, yogurt, balance bars, bananas, sandwiches, sun chips (mmmmmm sun chips) and a bit of candy to boost you back up at the end of the day. mental note, spf 45 tomorrow for day two and longer intervals down. the gear is clean and hopefully dry by tomorrow. i'm bringing the camera tomorrow just so y'all can see how butt white my legs are. woof, it's time for those things to get tan, now. i thought all my biking woulda gotten them some color but nope.

peed out, go diving!

Friday, May 06, 2005

put it behind me

so i had to post just to put my chagrin of the last one behind me.

I don't know if I've told you but I'm a rabid LOS ANGELES Angels fan....of Anaheim. Baseball is something I played for a long time, my knees will prove, and I've followed them in part because my brother followed them for so long when i was a wee lad, but I and in part my dear sister really are big fans of the angels, theres not much history or numbers you can get by me. Try me I know this and many past ones inside out. I just love baseball, it is a love affair that will never end i hope. My brother said the same and when the strike hit he said he'd never be the same or love the game as much but he's back. There are many many parallels of american life and baseball. It is stitched tightly into the fabric of Americana and even more my life. I will always enjoy a hot dog and peanuts and beer. Even if i was to become a vegetarian which i've toyed with but wouldn't be able to handle, i will always love baseball game hot dogs, peanuts and beer. I will love the sounds of a game, the ball in a mitt, the crack of a bat, the call of a vendor, the smell of the game, and it does have a very distinct smell. i will always think fondly of spit in a leather mitt, it's a trigger smell to me and reminds me of summer and standing around chasing bees in the outfield when i was little. I like the dodgers but don't feel any kinship to them, i'd say it goes Angels, Cubs, Red Sox, Dodgers, anyone else is just ehhh. The giants can go to hell strickly for Barry Bonds, if he drowns in his pool before he breaks the record I can then like the Giants, yes I am that vehement. And the Yankees. Hate em, always will. So with that it's 7:05 and the angels are playing detroit and I must watch.

eating healthy=gas *toilet speak-beware

Veggies and fruit and beans, well they just make ya gotta fart. Fortunately, they don't make em stink, fat and protein and the way your body processes it do. But man I'm having the hardest time holding them in at work. I think my ears have gas. It's gotta work it's way out somehow. My stomach is making the deepest grumbling, gurbling from holding them in. It's just as bad as letting the flatulence free with out the stank connotation. When did society make a normal body function so taboo? I bet it was when fast food *see? theres another one* was invented. Is it only in America? Cause I know there aren't the same restrictions, so to speak in Europe. I gotta say I like it when a woman lets em go. It might remind me of my grandmother that would just let em fly occasionally and just give out a little "ooh" and carry on with her day. It's normal, do it, but if it's gonna stink, make an effort to leave the room. I appreciate it for what it is when i walk through one, but accelerate my step. Hell I might even make a scene. I've been known to drop one, walk away and turn to see people walk through for reactionary response, but I'll do my best to minimize the damage if itwill be horrific. So there, please let me bust the assgas, its starting to hurt.

and as long as I'm on nastiness. how do so many people at my work have to drop the deuce AT WORK?!? every bathroom has air freshener but it stanks. If i have to fart i'm walking by the bathroom. I cannot count the times I've been to the bathroom and somebody isn't going nu-cu-lar in there. They have some messed up station times or eat like hell. I'm as regular as the japanese train system with the occasional crash, but for the love of god, what is in the water here? The jist is, i hate going anywhere near the bathrooms here. I want my private work bathroom back. I miss you bessiebowl.

Aight, i'm done being nasty, atleast for now.

Thursday, May 05, 2005


Okay so after making a sprint from Santa Monica at work to Malibu to the dive place in the traffic and rain, I made it to pick up my dive gear. There were two rainbows but no hike, I reserved one rainbow and the other one's mine so there, you don't like it, get the eff off. I got home and put all the gear on while sitting at teh computer. yes, yes I did, I felt like a jackass, looked like a bigger one, but now, finally, I'm excited about it. I've been talking about it for a long time realizing it for a while and now I'm jazzed, so much so, that I tried to walk in teh fins and ate shit into a wall and a bunch of silk screens. Good times. I looked at the bath tub and don't think I'll see anything exciting at teh bottom so I'll have to refrain from trying it out.

i then watched survivor. Dude, i will be on that show, mark my words, I've watched it since the inception and still love it. The strategy mixed with real life interactions, in a completely non-real sitch is damn compelling tv. But tonight was masterful gameplay. See ya gregg. That was crazy good by ian, and tom and gregg got outplayed. I said it was a dumb move to take his little girly on the reward and taking someone he didn't need to sway was stupid. you have to take the person that is the dissident of the group so they can't plan against you, thereby possibly bringing another your way. not take everyone in your alliance and leave two of the strongest behind to plan against you. Damn it was good. Also I would be out if they made me eat Baloot (sp?). no chance in hell could i eat a half developed duck. NO WAY! shit makes me wanna blow chunder. For a million? maybe, but not for a chance to sit on a boat and get a massage. I've gone this long without one. a massage or a fetal duck. And dammnit Oyie, I don't care if it's a delicacy. I'd rather eat human.

Yeah so tomorrow, work, and get home to sit and study dive tables so I can wake my happy ass up at normal time and go swim, underwater with full gear. Doesn't sound so rough. Sounds like high school without gear and It sounds like fun traffic school, way fun traffic school. (cause theres a long classroom session both saturday and sunday.

I also listened to the ralph wiggum mp3 and I still laugh my ass off. "It tastes like burning!"

Aight i'm going to bed, i've had very little sleep and need some.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


Nasty evening. I think it's cause i ate taco bell, it was close, i wanted to take a night off from the kitchen, but it was nasty taco bell. really nasty not that it's good in the first place but i've been eating crazy healthy for a spell and i think it just made me blahhed and lethargic. it was also really overcast, i didn't get to go for my bikeride, and the cd store only took like 12 of my 350+ cds. It was like they were shunning my music, and those were the ones that i said i'd keep forever til i got the ipod. Jennifer got the brunt of it, but shes a trooper. I need this vacation; and the scuba cert will be fun this weekend but gotta find time to go buy mom a gift from mayo and me. just too much to do in a short period of time. I really want some pot, but alas none. I need to snap out of it. good thing it didn't kick in until this evening. fucking nasty ass fast food. i feel like there is an alien in me right now, i want this food out of me. I want to not try to save money. I just want to chill and be on the beach in costa rica now. eat some lobster, drink some beers, go for some jungle hikes. Get me someone to lay next to now, it's gonna rain, thats the best time to do it. Wish my cat was around. have I said how much i want a dog? something. disjointedness blows.

tomorrow, veggies, and a bike ride, you know what fuck it. i'll take extra clothes with me to the dive shop and i'll go for an evening hike on the beach. who's down? fine get over here by 5:30 malibu. i'll see you there.

yeah i thought so, i'll do it alone then if i must.


I got nuthin' I've spoken to all the people I wanted to talk to and am mildly content. I'll keep you posted. feel free to give me something, softballs or fastballs, I'm game.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

damn sweet

As soon as the train left the station when I got home, I hear a knock at the door and who else is it? It's Jennifer and Emma from next door asking me if I can draw chalk drawings on the sidewalk as they got a new bucket of jumbo chalk (seeing as we burned through the bin of normal sized chalk). And who am I to turn her down? even though I promised a friend I would reinstall and configure her brand new G5 (freaking bass ass computer that I'm typing on currently). I let her know that as soon as I finished my bikeride I would come right over. But first her mom let me know that Emma loves me as she sheepishly hid behind her leg. Well I've gotta say I love her sweet little self right back. She is adorable and as soon as I take a picture of her I will post it. They are moving to Hotlanta so I have to make her a princess and myself a princess helper shirt shirt soon (she wants to be a class helper when she grows up). But Jennifer let me know that she would not leave until she found me a date as i'm too nice to not be dating someone (thanks but females my age in LA aren't concerned with niceties) and with the derth of Tim's out there (her hubby, and the girl she talked to is also hitched up with a Tim) that a her friends' (the one also with a Tim) friend will make an attempt to meet me. I told her I'm okay on my own and she insisted that I am not and she WILL make sure she gets me at least a date, crappy or not. Gee thanks. Well after drawing Trains, Planes, and Boats, frogs, cranes, flowers and pinwheels on their sidewalk they invited me over for a dinner of salmon, which I normally would never decline, if I didn't smell like my old football pads. She said she wants me to come over and hang out and have dinner with her family as I've been a damn good neighbor. I'll take her up on it before I leave.

I remember when I used to listen to punkrock really loud and flip off just about everybody. Now it's just alot of people I flip off. But now, I'm pretty calm and outgoing even though I might look a tad scary, but that's aight, I shaved the goatee and just have alot of hair and scruff. Either way, if a 4 year old and her 11 month old brother aren't scared of me, I could give a shit who is. Maylard, someday I WILL give you an asswhoopin for the years of abuse. I ain't that docile.


If this isn't living dangerously, I don't know what is.

I put two, count em TWO packets of cocoa mix in one small cup. Hot shit, it's good. It's got the little floating blobs on top with teh powder on the inside and I can feel the sludge at the bottom. I'm making up for in sugar what my salad lunch is lacking in substance. Even though I'm excited about it. But still. Who's a badass? HUH? WHO'S A BADASS?!? I gots super cocoa and you don't....



....what has my life come to?

Monday, May 02, 2005

current obsessions

So i have three things that I've been obsessing about. all 3 i think are good things but I'll leave my introspection to myself. I want you to take it as you will.

Balloons, kites, and flowers.

I was driving home and I came over the crest of a hill on the 101 and saw that a store had finally let go a string of balloons. There were some big ones and little ones all tied together and they looked absolutely marvelous dancing in the breeze as they sailed up in the evening sky that had alot of light left but still a long journey through the night to go. i always tell kids that before you get home you should let the balloon go. Because then you can imagine the story that balloon will have to tell. Balloons are meant to sail not sit at home until they get all wrinkled. This usually stops them from crying when they let it go. It's equally as good to inhale the helium as that brings me alot of joy making phone calls, not to mention a hefty head rush.

Next are kites. people are flying them alot. I saw about 7 of them on my bike ride today and they were wonderful. Some stunt ones, but mostly plain 'ol kites with tails on them, even a homemade one that caught my eye the most. Sometimes I wish they'd get let go but I know the flight then wouldn't be as spectacular. the one homemade one with the edges of the kites fluttering but the central portion of the kite exhibiting its strength.

Flowers, I can't get enough of them, the roses are blooming and alot of the houses in the neighborhood have them right next to the sidewalk. I remember walking to the park one day with my grandmother near her house and she always stopped to smell them all and told me that there is a reason that there was a saying about stopping to smell them. Since then I will always stop and smell them. they're heavenly, especially when you can smell them from 20 feet away, and you get up to them and it's even better. Went to moms yesterday and she walked me through all her new ones and over half of them had their own distinct smell. the others didn't smell at all but were really pretty. Spring is good. i love my mom for being excited about them around me.

Now, I let in my own personifications but, you should pause and think about it in your own way and I dare you not to find redemption or happiness or whatever you want, but I dare you not to feel good thinking about it.

the crazy eye

i was looking at video and pictures about the lady in georgia that skipped out on her wedding, and I noticed she has the crazy eye. You know the crazy eye. It's that look that you're about to clap or smack a horse and they're looking at you in a panic before it bolts. Her eyes are like permanently wide open. You know these people, they blink really quickly, speak quickly and are usually type A, but it's the crazy eye, I tell you. Someone musta spooked her cause she done ran, and far, before she stopped. Curious to see if she marries the guy.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

mundane is not overrated on a sunday

I enjoyed getting up and doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, and eating a leftover taco from dinner. Shit is not too bad.

Just got back from a nice bikeride. I think I'm going to refrain from the weekend midday rides. Early morning or evening will be better. There are just too many kids blocking the path and having to dodge those and joggers is not that fun. Add the heavy amount of vehicles going in and out of Balboa Park that I have to yell at (and if you know me, my yell is loud and intimidating-it's just my bark. I'm hoping my bite is no longer all that efficient). It's when i have to miss getting hit and thump on the car that almost hits me or if I go right up to the window and wait for them to turn their head so they see a pretty big guy at their window about two inches from them with his middle finger up cause they weren't looking and nearly hit me. I understand there are distractions but you're driving on an established bike path, recognize that, theres like 30-50 riders going by every 2 minutes on a weekend. The kids I don't mind so much, I'll ride into the brush. They don't know better and for the most part they're cute as hell with their little legs on little bikes going a million miles an hour, but still going really slow. Little rippers, and future badasses. It's the lazy ass fat kids that sit in the middle of the path blocking both lanes and see you coming and don't move. I'll say something to them, nicely, but it's their parents and kidless adults that get the expletives. When I work out, I don't mess around, I do my thing and am quiet (unless overdrive kicks in and the grunting and pain kick in), I'm not working out for a fashion show or to be seen, I'm there to work out and if it's ugly, messy, stinky, then so be it. Its the end result I'm going for.

Yeah that was a negative rant, I'm going to lift, need to leave it all there so the docility sets in.

Dinner at mom's, that'll be tasty but no niece and nephew seeing as they're in Phoenix, dammnit. i wanna play with the little squirt; Emily is just too small at this point but I like being delicate with her. Apparently, his other uncle (sis-in-laws brother) went over and played mightily with him but for the life of Christopher he couldn't remember jacks name. You see that's not a problem with me as i'm his favorite uncle that indulges him at any opportunity, and he loves saying my name. I have a couple voicemails saved cause he likes to call me and tell me what he had for dinner. At this age, I can play for days with him. It's when they make it to Ryry and Red's age that I start to wear out as they're older and play bigger boy games and they're way heavier. For the most part I can keep up but now I can say that I'm done and will just watch them play. They're are also my favorites. What can I say each of them is my favorite as I now know why my mom said that all her kids were her favorites for different reasons. But alas, no child play tonight, booooooooooooo. I can handle. It's when my brother moves away I'll be bummed. A few miles away from mom's house to a few states away will be tough, but have car will travel, i won't miss much I hope. I don't make it up to sisters house as much as I'd like but will have to plan a trip after Costa Rica, I need a San Luis Obispo trip, that town is where I'd like to retire and add a bit of liberalism to a staunch rightist county. San Luis Obispo itself is pretty liberal and heaven on earth. Anyone wanna meander with me, I'm game. I'll be grubbin at one of 100 tasty shacks and good music spots.

Damn I gotta go lift, I'm writing in tangents as i had a new energy drink and still have energy to kill. Heres to future exhaustion.

pasta as in Hasta La Pasta (thats why I keep saying it. dunno why, I just do even though it sounds gay, do you have a problem with that?) wooooooooooooooooooo I'm hyper.