Friday, August 31, 2007

seriously someone shoot this guy

i'm with everyone else that he aided in Phil Hartmans death. dumb fucker.

Club: Andy Dick groped, offended, urinated -

share the love, or bring the dodgers back to brooklyn!

Video - Breaking News Videos from

seriously, here! now leave me alone

considering 90% (30% of those are from Iran or some other ultra conservative arab country-no joke about 4 a day atleast) of my random hits come from the phrase "names of sexual positions" and the link i put up two years ago is a cobweb, here you go. i hope i made it easier for your sexual perversion. i myself have them memorized so i can chili dog my gf all day..........yeah i'm in trouble...

effed up sexual positions A-Z

once again, more, effed up sexual positions A-Z

Thursday, August 30, 2007

soul soliciting pig fuckers!!! you said it gramma!

I've subsequently watched this like 20 times since i posted it. it just DOES NOT get old!

on a lighter note, why my girlfriend sent this to me, i dunno, but it deserves mention

Portable Stripper Pole/Stage - $500
Reply to:
Date: 2007-08-30, 4:16PM PDT

BRAND NEW still in original box from Platinum Stages.

silver stage and pole
black sides
quick release set up
galvanized steel surface
free standing unit/does not touch ceiling
withstand 250 lbs

* This item has been posted by-owner.
* Location: Redondo Beach
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 410189647

lucky, lucky guy

bringing you fattossing

mustard, mayo, pickles, onins and catchup

for those of you who haven't known...i haven't really been "here" for a little bit. i've dropped off the radar so to speak and while i'd say thats inexcusable for some of my dear friends near and far, my stress level has been at a near high. when i'm under that kind of pressure whether it self made or not, i get a white spot in my beard. i haven't seen this white spot since 2003 but it's back. this is why...

the salmon and i have decided to stick around socali for a bit, maybe a year? dunno. this allows me to help with my sisters recovery, replace dusty (my ride), make a bit of scratch at a higher level and get some daily time with the salmon (and the tootsie roll) which we need. She can swim upstream and take care of her bidness and we can build things for our house.

this brings me to the next item of biz, we need to find a place to live. to find rent in LA, in a house no less (with muthafuckin AC for the love of god, i'm melting in here!) is no small task. plus i'm racing the clock with my client to finish the job and get paid. that money would handle the deposits and 1st month and get me out from under the old "mate" who got a great deal in us making his credit spectacular but showing we have zero rental history for the last 4 years. Good times.

I'm applying to anything and everything design so if you know of anything, lemme know and i'll link you to my portfolio website, i won't post it here but i'll send it over to you.

pop over to sayshuhs blog (linked over there >>>>>>>). I'm going to be funny over there while he's galavanting around europe with oyie and the commie.

then i can drop off the radar again. there are a few of you i MUST call to catch up with and i'm extremely apologetic for not checking in especially those of you in the central area of the states taht may or may not have recently bought a house and are currently mantraining...well that would make just one of you which would constitute 1/4 of my readership.

Friday, August 24, 2007

i'm famous bitches!!! and oyies laugh is too...

if cable access is famous. i called into a cable access show on belly dancing... when they flashed their number up on the screen and said it was live, i had to call. oh it was live aight. i asked one good question, and one dumb one and they don't really have hold on their phones other than putting it down on the table or desk it sits on cause after i had my say, you could hear oyie laughing in the background. i have it recorded on the dvr. somehow, someday i will get that video and post it here on the don't touch me, i'm famous. get me a bottle of water and some tic tacs, it's time for din din.

crack it for us overpaying verizon suckas

Teen untethers iPhone from AT&T

pretty sick student graphics linked to you by master dean

Doll Face by Andy Huang: Robot Gets Dolled Up, Pays Ultimate Price

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

thanks to sayshuh you can all be amazed at carnie porn

I am not a radiological anomaly!!!!

Somedays, it's nice to sit back and listen to a 25 minute jam

Fela Kuti. kick back and give a listen


i don't know how many times in the 3.5 years i've lived with oyie that i've naturally (read-not been sick) woken up after him. today was that day. but that was due in fact that i was working on the freelance til late and had a redbull at like 830 pm. i remember looking at the tv seeing it just before sleep as it was almost 440 am and realized i was going to wake up on the couch, and that is just what happened. then i woke up late morning and theres an F-16 and F-18 fighter jets doing bump and runs at the local airport, so either they're practicing setting off every alarm in the neighborhood or camelot's in trouble. either way, they spooked my pooch and he doesn't spook easily so go back to bombing incorrect targets somewhere overseas.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

i was always rooting for the bear

Bears eat man at beer festival

Monday, August 20, 2007

unfortunately, he'll still be a millionare and prolly do soft time

Vick agrees to plea deal, prison possible

Friday, August 17, 2007

Theres a muthafuckin cosi in costa mesa!!!


i'm biting this from sasha


a) i'm a biter...oh yes, a biter, yes in that way and the next
b) they're fucking cool.

check my big old round MANHOLE

geez...hows this for a burst of writing

i want to change up the good ol' OV a tiny but. I'm thinking "the OVgyn" but am having a bit of a braingasm thinking up finished anagrams for it. help a brotha out and feed some to me...all 4...yes 4 of you. my circulation has gone up!

if god has warriors, who do atheists have? twinkees?

it's been a long week. partially due to the fact that it's been over a hundred in camelot and that means i'm stepping nowhere near this computer due to the auschwitz conditions in this office. i've been to the client and it turns out i'm going to get paid a nice penny to design a folder in whitespace. to those in the know, that can be either really easy or really hard. this will be easy. i am to basically *rip-off someones elses design and copy it with different colors and tweak the elements to make it somewhat better. then stopped by the first jokewood that i worked at before i found out that malachai, and judas were running the whole thing. everyone i knew was cool but i feel bad for those cool people i left behind. i think a train is going to hit them as it doesn't seem that they have any backup lined up. oh well, they know my stance and i've told them to look for work jsut to be sure.

i then went to the salmons and helped her set up her new macbook toy. thing is seriously fucking badass, and fast. just gotta get her to unplug it from the old skook extension chord. i think thats why the ac transformer gets so damn hot. other than that i just have to put the "fun" software on it and she can run amok.

i have to get comps done this weekend and maybe go back up to my sisters. she's had a couple episodes that are of concern but my mom is by her side, dog bless her. she really has shown her meddle as a good mom and has barely left her side since it happened. i think she's lining up my sisters ducks really well for her recovery and her future.

on different notes. i really gotta find a job in austin. not only that, i gots to find us a place to temporarily throw our hats...and our dogs. austin city limits has pretty much sucked up all the rentals so its a wait and see until thats over.

* there is no ripping off in design, it's steal it, tweak it, make it better if you can, change the fonts and colors and call it a day. it's already been done long before you, so don't worry about it.

Dean strengthens to Category 4 hurricane, heads to Gulf of Mexico

i tried to warn the dominican republic but he wants to eff em up. theres no reasoning with a storm that travels from taiwan, to LA, to the caribbean

and here, this whole time, i thought he was sitting pretty stationary in long beach! now he's spinning faster than a stinky, hairy armpitted chick at a grateful dead concert.

Dean strengthens to Category 4 hurricane, heads to Gulf of Mexico -

Hal Fishman 1931-2007 | In Loving Memory | Beloved KTLA-TV Anchorman And Trusted Los Angeles Journalist

seriously...i liked you, you bug eyed flying newsman! you will be missed

Hal Fishman 1931-2007 | In Loving Memory | Beloved KTLA-TV Anchorman And Trusted Los Angeles Journalist

Thursday, August 16, 2007


Monday, August 13, 2007

like they bought a house...and like, they started, like a blog!

Brian and Bethany

Saturday, August 11, 2007

michel gondry kicks ass

go dig fujiya and miyagi over at Sayshuh

and dig bjork thru in her interview...makes me remember why i she was once in my top 10, then dig the rest of gondry, rubiks, and his white stripes

extra added bonus


life isn't so good when you have to hold the handle down on the toilet flush until everything goes completely down...

i've been here and there, here and then back to there again. i can't say everything has been wonderful. sometimes a downright pain in the ass. my checking acct is getting low, my sister has a broken back. i've worked, albeit not endlessly, but i gotta say, i'm pretty sore and tired. i dont' really have much to say. i've started working on my freelance project in between driving up for long weekends to tend to the siblings' family and keeping her boys entertained and active. i did get home for a couple days and got some good time in with the shrunken headed salmon. i missed a housewarming, though missing that one didn't seem like the miss wouldn't have been intentional anyways. but i missed jed's impromtu bday party at yank-my-noodle today/night and i miss seeing him more than i make seeing him. we'll work something out. thats about it. i'm boring, and i'm fatigued. the salmon'll tell you my boring streak has been going on for a bit but what can i say, stress and separation set that apart. so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

oh yeah i watched one of my hubcaps fly off on the freeway and graze another car (not badly). Now Dusty (my cars name) is like a kid without shoelaces. the po' kid!

yeah fuckoff

Monday, August 06, 2007

Tomatoes continued...

Here goes:

Last night, I was staring at a handful of tomatoes, some 'Early Girls' that Teo had bestowed upon me. I chopped them up, along with chopped garlic, truffle oil, salt and balsamic vinegar. Tossed it all up, and it made for a mighty tomato salad that tasted like a red heaven. It made for a terrific topping for ground beefsteak I made for lunches. The beefsteaks were made with organic ground beef, paprika, pepper, soy, garlic, onion, and cooked with the lean mean grilling machine. As you will see from the lovely aftermath pictures below. Notice the burnt gristle, overflow of oil and fat, and the mess that was not 'so easy to clean'. Teo, that one was for you and your family, thank you for the tomatoes."

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Thursday, August 02, 2007


I'm still a bit numb as i got news yesterday as my mom was driving up north that my sister had broken her back falling while on a boat. Burst fractures is what they're calling them and i've read a ton about them but they think she doesn't need surgery at this point but i'm just having a bit of a hard time not going up there right now. mom insists that i stay here for the time being but it still made for a restless night. i'm not to really inform anyone other than my brother and one of her friends but i'm still left twiddling my thumbs. i just would like to get up there and take her boys out for ice cream or something to get their minds off of it.