Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Good Times

So almost half a month has passed since I rounded the corner and left my adolescence behind. Or so i think. It has been a pretty good month so far. I have eaten wonderful food. Hung with wonderful friends (whether I remember it or not) and went wonderful places with the fish. Palm Springs was bad ass but hot as ass without the smell. I'll post pics (i have to post alot). we also ate at Gordon Ramsay's new restaurant in WeHo. Excellent is an simple word. Stupendous might be more accurate.

Dusty also bit the dust a bit too. Atleast he died on me this week and would not restart. We'll see how much he is to fix up so I can sell him and look for a new mode of transportation. This weekend we head to Vegas (in the end of June- crazy? no, probably just dumb). It's for a good occasion, but we found out it was going to be way more expensive than we anticipated. A few of us are trying to think of ways to compromise and still have a good time without ruining everyone, especially the bachelors good time, but it went from affordable to players club and if you know me, I ain't no player and I ain't in that club. Plus I ain't got the duckets for it. Enough of the bad grammar, I'm trying to be positive and build character. As some of you know, I'm good at knocking my own character, but depend on my good heart to balance it out.

Hey I've got these lovely stamps to look forward to. And you better believe, we're getting some! love you chaz and ray!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


This is why you don't mess with the scrappy little dudes.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

decisions, decisions

I'm not sure which one of these I want!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

this'll send your testes into hiding

or they'll be in your lost shoe

http://view.break.com/516659 - Watch more free videos

Monday, June 09, 2008

oh my

i may need to get one of these newfangled apple contraptions!

yep thats radiohead

In the spirit of the beautiful absurdity of radiohead, this is a remix. read it, listen to it, pretty hard to do. Enjoy.

same dude but this is different, sick shit

Sunday, June 08, 2008

A new game for you

This is one that is wracking my brain. It will wrack yours too as soon as I tell you what it is.

Think of bands, any bands, all bands that you know. Is there a definite front man for the band? One that carry's the brand of that band. One that is so unmistakably that person, that if they weren't in the band, there wouldn't be a band. There are caveats and quid pro quo to this. If the band has a second, or third distinct member then they don't fall under the category. For example, one could say Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin. Well this wouldn't fly cause he has Jimmy Page, John Bonham and John Paul Jones, each legendary in their own respect. The Beatles are another one that don't fall into the pitch.

Bands or indivduals that would fall into the category would be Tom Petty, or Eric Clapton. Some of you could name people from those bands but if they didn't help carry the band in a legendary type of way then they can be included. One could argue Axl Rose was a serious front man but he had Slash so this is the gray area. Freddie Mercury was definitely THE front man but some could argue Brian May helped carry that band. U2, Bono, but the Edge so it's quite the challenge, this game.

Other examples of bands with a definite front man:

Peter Frampton
REM (michael stipe)
Jimi Hendrix
No Doubt (gwen stefani)
The Police (yes I know i can name the rest of the band, but it's Sting for chrissake)
The Commodores (lionel richie)
The Pips (gladys knight)
The Supremes (diana ross)
Ray Charles
Pearl Jam (eddie vedder)
Bon Jovi (jon)
Nirvana (even tho Dave went to Foo Fighters, he still didn't carry Nirvana)
Foo Fighters (he gets his due for the foo)

but dig this one...

Genesis? (phil collins?) he was technically NOT the front man but the drummer, so again, gray area.

The list could go on and on, IF you could think of them.

Other listings of almost but not quite, or no way (and it gets tricky with R&B and rap as they present particular challenges):

Guns and Roses (axl/slash)
Van Halen (was it Diamond Dave? or was it Sammy? one could argue they would be nothing and they would have been, without Eddie)
The Who (roger daltrey/pete townshend)
The Rolling Stones (all those old fuckers)
Public Enemy (the front man being Flavor Flav, but the talent being Chuck D)
NWA, (the front man being EasyE but the talent being Ice Cube and Dr Dre).

So roll that one around in your head and add some bands if you think of them. I've spent the last 3-4 days pitching this one and it's infectious. Even though I don't think it was my idea. i will still veto selections if anyone actually puts some in.

wow, i think...

Until recently in my life, asians didn't really do it for me. Neither did ultra skinny girls. I gotta say tho Bai Ling is pretty hot. But not so hot when she's showing her scratch to the world. Kinda weird. but still kinda hot

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Do you shop at The Dick Liquor?

50 best store signs

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

phuket me

facebook has proven to be a thing of annoyance. it's basically classmates.com with a few extras. i'm sick of it. you put your high school in, unknowingly opening pandoras box of shit (which is customarily thought of as something you don't want to think of), and you get one million of the fucknuts that you did not want to associate with back then. Its aight if you want to keep in touch with people, which i have, and been happy to, but fuck it with the "someone poked you" or someone has "passed you a shot" or someone "bought/sold" you. I appreciate those things but the majority of the apps that they put on are just vapid, like the attached photo. the coolest person? c'mon, you're trying to win a contest that you didn't win in high school. your new "short hair," "i'm a 45 year old mom" when you're 31 and barren, haircut isn't going to help you. your tits are still at your ankles and you appear to be accumulating high school friends for the fuck of it, to show that you KNEW that many people is not going to cut it either. i'm deleting you, you don't communicate other than to send lame ass updates that you've added a new application.

i'm removing the tumor before it is potentially 20 lame ass apps and going back to myspace where i can be hit up by gay dudes and asians that speak crappy eng-rish.



nothing better than a day when one sits in front of the computer and forces themselves to write. i could stop, but what would that prove? that i don't even want to write about my banal musings for the 3 people that are still reading the OV?

a couple things to update on.

it's our birthdays comin up. actually i have more than a few in the next two weeks. the salmon, first and foremost, the maylard mom, whom i love like my own and treats me like her own, my dear sweet sister, and then my own. if i forgot you, well, then i forgot you and you must remind me cause if you really know me, then you know i don't remember bdays.

i have kinda sorta quit smoking, i'm a social smoker now, only occasional but this coming from someone that was smoking a pack and a half a day down to about 1 maybe two a day, maybe.

i am looking into a new car cause dusty has served me well and he needs to go to some high school kid or some mexican grandmother. i'm trying to decide between an Element and a Subaru likely a Forrester. I like the subarus, cause they're AWD, and can fit dog bed stuff, silkscreen stuff and dogs. Plus they'll get me camping (if and when i camp), it'll get me to mammoth in summer and winter, and they're just nice cars. The elements don't have rear windows that will accomodate the kids. not to mention chuck the dealer reminded me in many ways of John Wayne Gacy. Seriously, he gave me "fairytales" that he had written and attached his honda bizcard to with, specifically, the word meth in it no less than 5 times. he was like 60 and hard hair along the outside ridge of his nose, go fig. I will go back to the subaru dealer (which was closed) and see if they creep me out less. I'm just looking at this point and handing out a defunct phone number in the meantime.

i'm selling bags, lots of them, it's eased up since my stress of doing it almost by myself for the winter, but it's sales, and my income is directly proportional to the amount i work, so, i work alot, not as much as a coupla months ago, but it still allows me only time to garden and putter around fixing things on the weekend. which i love. the dining room chairs are finally fixed properly after 9+ months! WOOOOOO!!!

My landlord has proven every jewish stereotype in the book these days. They initially promised to reimburse me for work or improvements on the house which they now have no recollection of, and also said to each of our faces that they would not raise our rent if we turned out to be good tenants. well we are ideal and they are as well, but not by much and I don't know if i want to fight it or just pay it, happy that i'm only taking a $25 increase. BUT they want to rip out our kitchen cabinets (sic- all of them) including the stove, dishwasher, oven and such to put in second hand or used cabinets. We could gain updated cabinets and more counterspace even though we liked our old school 60's cabinets. But they said it would take a week, and WITH my help maybe faster. I balked at that cause i ain't helpin for shit cause that ain't my job and they ain't crediting me other than a couple meals out which has not been clarified either. but seriously, noone has typified a stingy jew more than my landlord lately. I'm not racist but i've found one super stingy jew can ruin it for all normally lovely jews. sorry stingy jews if i know you and you're stingy...you are (i can't think of any overtly stingy jews that i personally know right now so i could name them here). we did get our metal security screen door which we've wanted for a while, but i have yet to be paid back for yet. I digress.

i have a coupla weeks until my grass is greener, literally, it was just seeded and manured so it stinks, i have to water it alot and pay the water bill, but i like mowin g the lawn so it'll have to do.

what else? i think i have a wart on my finger and i've burned it with some icy thing i got at target and i have a huge cold blister on my finger. so to go out on a high note, don't shake my left hand and i don't want to finger band you into genital warts.

piece, gloves and scrappynous.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Bo knows way more than Diddley RIP

Guitarist Bo Diddley dead at 79


I don't know if I have ever explained my own personal theory of hell. I like to think that hell is segregated so that true pioneers and blessed indivduals that HAD to sell their souls atleast get to go to a fly ass spot in damnation. These are peeps like Miles Davis, Ray Charles, Robert Johnson and the such. They were unabashed sinners. They did not seek redemption but lived their lives righteously and beautifully. Due to restrictions on their race that they knew all too well, they broke major ethical, social, and religious rules. You'll also notice that they're black. I believe there are many different hells. But the two that I want to clarify and express preference for are Black and White hells. These are, to be politically correct, Caucasion and African descent hells. To make it easy for ya, White hell is where senior cabinet officials for the Bush admin will likely end up if they truly believe in heaven and hell, which i don't.

Either way, I don't want to be in White hell...period.

I would rather break rocks listening to these cats tantalize my ears as that is a sensation that strikes other chords with me that would cause me to continue to sin.

The flip side of the coin is that if it truly is MY damnation, I'll end up in White hell, or I'll be seeing these guys play but won't hear them. I'm making my preference as Black hell.

With that being said, as I believe I am one of those cats that have sinned, alot. But I live my life righteously and morally, but I have had to do things that I felt were right that were not in line with someone that is a bit more pious. I will separate this from my next post out of respect for the man and I hope he is somewhere that he considers heaven.