Friday, November 30, 2007

that explains it

my boy dean is getting married...

...on FRIDAY. we're rollin down. cause he needs ta getta witness!

I'm on that like brown on paper bags!

Congratulations brother!!! And welcome to belinda to the family. Funny tho, they both have the same last name already...i wonder if they're related?

when i go to clubs i wait in line...muthafukka

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

i'm hot for your cock

listen carefully...flat as her ass

god bless todd

i'm a student and a part time actress

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

i love you but i can't do this anymore

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

in news today, "green" is now a useless word

Rock Center Tree Lights Go `green'

Now really, the trees going green? really? typically when you cut down an 84 foot high spruce, it goes brown, or dead as it might more commonly be known as. Kinda odd even tho they're using solar, energy efficient lighting, but the power will be on nonstop until january, and not to mention the diesel fuel for the boat or truck that brought it here.

ehhh, i wanted to rant but who'd care. maybe i'll strike...

Monday, November 19, 2007

information stupi-highway

with some of the asinine items that popped up today

if you're a developmentally challenged tree, you're a treetard

if you're atypically foul're a cuss-turd, or or or a particularly foul mouthed mentally challenged individual, then cuss-tard!

anyhow, so my dog is pretty solitary when he leaves his #2 in the backyard. not so when he walks however. Well this particular time, he did it out in plain sight under a light. The salmon made mention that it was like the movie. Bright Lights, Big Shitty. And i chimed in, WITH FECAL J. FOX. I laughed at my own joke so hard i almost drooled.

good times. on a similar dog side note, i got a squeaker out of a toy and can fit it into my mouth and got the chocolate to believe that when i squeezed the doof, i would blow the squeaker. well this just made her think the the squeaker was inside ol blondie. this was over an hour of gut busting laughter. i'm going to try to get some on video. you prolly won't find it funny unless you know a dog and it's squeaker.

good lord. oh yeah, anyone know any good yoga sites? i need positions for two.

Friday, November 16, 2007

holy snizzap

the salmon and i went to downtown LA today after we left at 2pm and got back at 6ish from a seemingly easy trip if it weren't for traffic. it was because of traffic that for a lawnmower thanks to some snotnosed (craigslist-i love you) senior at USC. either way the lawnmower is pretty nice for the money...(again- craigslist i love you). now if only my sweet sweet dear sweet sister would come through and hook a BLOOD brother up with an edger that I can get fixed (for a coupla bucks to her and to me for tuneup) after a coupla years of sittin and doin nothin in her garage, then my new (shaggy) lawn would be looking nice and key. so heres to lawnmowing saturday and hopefully tuesday or wednesday edging!

the rest of the jardin is doing well. thankfully and expectedly, the radishes have already germinated and are pushing their way up. 4 of the 6 butter lettuce are standing stiffly/confidently up on their own. so whatup, i gots veggies growin, go to ralphs you cheap ass sexual predator cause thats what people that shop at ralphs are called...sexual grocery predators...

sick fucks. grow your own you green ass wga screenwriters... damn hippies, except for that crack ass whore we saw today with they baby stroller with no baby in it. just get her something to wean her off that shit, her neck was RAW from scratchin that shit.

woah the walls are breathing and you stole my yahtzee dice didn't you, you motherfucker....ahhhhhh breathing meth walls....ahhhhhhhsnifflesniffsniffahhhhhhhhh

Thursday, November 15, 2007

if ya got one, you may or may not appreciate this...

if you DON'T gots one, you also may or may not appreciate this


Wednesday, November 14, 2007


after posting that video this morning i've been getting more than a few hits from Hot Filipino Men. Well this is just disturbing. And considering I'm not the filipino one they must be looking at Oyie.

Branded wanted to submit a hot shot he got of oyie.

sorry boys, brandeds not sharing the chocolate highway shots

and YOU CAN TOO!!!

just watch the reaction vids of two girls one cup on you tube. like so:

and here you can watch me shanghai oyie into watching the video simply for the reaction video. it really, really is that bad. i've seen similar but damn this one puts alot of em together.

botanical tour, succulent, food edition

Heres the rest, for now of almost all edibles that are in ground. and a few more succulents potted.

The corpse flower covered in flies but damn cool lookin. darwin rules!!!


Few heads of butter lettuce

Carrots, Radishes, White icicle radish both both mound and trough plantings. We'll see which one the soil likes

Mint... cause it taste damn good in iced tea and cocktails

Caught the doof doing yoga in the garden. his well studied sitting cobra...

Monday, November 12, 2007


Everyone in your rootin tootin gun totin' family needs one of these

Thursday, November 08, 2007

too bad theres a writers strike

jay leno must be reading todays times and chomping at the bit.

wouldnt the news coming from reagan library be standard for a guy that had alzheimers and a penchant for "forgetting things" like arms to the contras, be a typical day at his museum where things are just disappearing?

and from the campaign trail...are republican backers like pat robertson following reagans lead by forgetting their moral high ground by backing an often divorced, cross dressing backer of abortions?

and lastly, for now the times reporting that Rerun season may hit sooner. quoting, "in a move that could accelerate the disappearance of some of the nation's most popular prime-time shows, including "Desperate Housewives," "Lost" and "The Office."
well thats just silly. shows, namely lost aren't going to disappear in any more regularity than it already has. that shit is on hiatus more than a soprano. you can't miss something thats never freaking on! as for the rest of programming. i won't miss heroes but i will the daily show, and frontline but i can enjoy reruns of that. alot of people will find that like the riaa and music labels, we're fine with our netflix and youtube for the time being. sucks to be in the biz yes, but am i gonna honk my horn passing the picket line? prolly not...

welcome to the semi-sometimes-but-often-not-sensational, cock botanical tour!

i practiced giving the tour in my not-so-famous Huell Howser voice yesterday. I think thats the only thing the salmon found interesting. but since, i'm writer and editor in chief, well, you have no say.

I don't know the names of most or any of these plants. I do know that I inherited them and they were in a right state when i got them. But i have since thumbed them greenly and my love of plants calls them to start to live.

This is a succulent of some name, but it's got about 60-70 of these ready to bloom

a cactus meddly of clippings i took from the mothers day garden. The big bulb is a corpse flower, named because when that bad boy busts open is smells like a rotting carcass and flies love it. why would i have it? cause thats nature and that's cool. plus the flower is actually quite pretty. and i usually do smell them everytime. cause thats nature and thats cool.

A vine i inherited that wasn't doing well. it's more a bush now but it's purdy, we'll see another down the informationsuperpathway.

not sure, but it's thriving after being pretty hacked. it'll have a pretty nice lotus-ish looking flower, i believe.

Think it's a potato. not too exciting. it's delicate though

ol purple bloom is pretty cool. doing well. wasn't expecting flowering but one day it did. seems to bloom one flower at a time, but they're cool.

ehh, it'll have pink or white flowers

A middle-ish hemisphere plant. it'll get a velvety flower on it. likes moisture and warmth, and short walks on beaches....whore

a palm. unchecked and in about 15 years it could be a tree. more importantly is the new guy sprout at his base, we'll see what he grows into, or transplant him.

Baby LIMES!!!

busy busy bees on the lemon thats taken off. thank you bees, sincerely, you do good work

we're back on the orange guy. this is an actual vine the gardeners put in, and it's tiptop gets good sun

this is one of our indoor lazy vines

indoor venus flytrap...vicious i tell ya

this bastard was grubbin on my hibiscus. but since he didn't have wings yet and i've been on daily hibiscus defense, it's starting to really bloom

some simple drought resistant ground cover that has cool blooms. it'll take off and bush up eventually.

A simple tiny guy thats on the side of the house. i like him. he's next to the neighbors apple that is blooming unbeknownst to the doof who is a master fallen apple cleaner upper

well, i hope you enjoyed your tour! please come back, visit our gift shop, and we readily accept clippings if they pass muster (me). I must go to the nursery and see about a sapling (red)japanese maple for the front yard next to the young birch. also have to plants some beets, radishes, carrots, arugulas, and some other veggies, so thats comin soon! stayed tuned.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

the good ol days

These are the two dudes that semi-bi-weekly drive around to park in front of my house to get baked. It's pretty funny. We used to do this at about this age. We preferred to find a nice suburban neighborhood tract and drive around in varying patterns. Better to be mobile than stationary so some jackass sitting at his computer doesn't see you and detest public drug use. I, however don't really care about two college kids smokin some reefer before their film class. Pretty funny. Next time they show up, i'm gonna shoot at the tree they park under with my trusty red ryder. maybe that'll give em a lil paranoia. i may progress into putting a baby monitor walkie talkie kinda thing in the tree.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I'd like to thank my agent, my cast, my dog, my mom, shiva, ghandi, thomas jefferson, frederick douglass...

I love the fact that someone in St Louis searched

"receipt and "2nd continental congress" and drinking"

and came here.

mother, mother...theres too many of you cryin'

whats goin on?

we hit up the shout out louds last night at the fonda. what i saw was kids about my age as the average mixin. I've made my way through a few fashion trends in my ventures to hollywood but i gotta say it's getting predictable.

i watch as hairstyles, makeup on men, women, piercings, tattoos, tight pants, baggy shorts, birkenstocks in gump bathrooms, beaters and skins at punk shows, obviously gay, and obviously fighting to be touggh but then hitting the gay club the next week. all kinds. i reference my past lingerings on the dancing jerkers, the free floaters, the head bob, the slam dance, the surfing and the generally lackadaisical plain standers that clap politely at the end of each song.

But never, ever, have i had so much fun poking at emo's. the pristinely tussed and messy hair that took atleast one hour to perfect. you guys and gals thrive on black nailpolish and emoticons, and texting mid song and generally living (ex-phone decoration, writing on arms, cutting arms) in your cell phone and im universe. But the clothing fashion is definitely one to behold. you are my market for shirts often and you possess plenty of disposable income especially if you off yourself. but i digress. if you know them you know of what i speak.

the point i'm trying to make is that there is a new trend. as the generation x'ers get older they're moving into more job security and the slacking is now a lifestyle that pays (at Google) but we see the emos now aging. I have begun likening male aging emo's as "Ruffalo's." yes THIS Mark Ruffalo. the qualifications are as follows:

perfectly "mussed" or "tussed" quaffs
shaggy facial hair growth
v-neck tshirt (any color, really...white, yellow, mauve;they're all rufallo-ly)
vested vintage military jacket or old school north face
swiss version earth toned military pill cap
or and especially...the tight hoodie made from super ultra thin cotton that tightly hugs (yet does not adversely re-muss the hair) and hangs down yet does not reach the waistline by atleast 3 inches.

They always have the look that mark rufallo uses as his signature. the "sulked shoulder, eyebrow up, plaintive stare that even on a good day, renders a hapless sigh from it's utterers' pouty lips. yes this is the rufallo. you will see him. you will likely know him personally. it's alright. i'm not trying to dimish him one bit. i quite enjoy his acting. even his one war film he was the plaintive near suicidal guy. he's got it cornered! LVLouise herself made a very good observation. She reminded me to not overlook the dirth of "Hawkes" in our immediate area. They are simply deeper thinking, using complex diction and esoteric vernacular. They rub their heads or simply hold their hands over their faces lost in deep thought of the girl he cheated on and wished he could get back. oh yeah, theres alot of those as well. they're the figureheads, the elders. they crossed the platforms from gen x'ers to emo's. they were the forefathers, the trailblazers for a whole generation of sad, disgruntled coffee drinkers.

heres too all you Rufallo's and Hawkes.

Monday, November 05, 2007

weekend mirth and merriment

i think we did alright this weekend. kareoke was a hit, the food was plentiful and good (AND LEFTOVER!!!) and the space provided many good pockets for positive clique-ishness. Some i wanted here didn't show and others i didn't want here didn't show either so i guess it's even. whichever, theres reasons i suppose.

I was pretty wiped the next day. I didn't drink too much, i didn't smoke too much, i think i was just wiped out. Sunday was a wash, but good.

I'm done with work for my big client as of now and am working with others that keep me busy. But i wouldn't mind a nine to five with bennies.

I finally deleted about half dozen links on my right over here >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

if you're scorned you were deleted, well your page is either gone or you don't write enough so let me know i have them bookmarked.

aight then, banality, over and out.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

our cock is clean, hard and ready

housewarming is today, this place is spic, span and purdy. the kareoke machine is hot and ready, the tacos are waitin and we're chillin. the cock is up and erect so if you got the evite or i truly know you, roll over. if not...well you don't know my addy. eff off!


Thursday, November 01, 2007

i wanted a bigger douchefight

but criss angel is still an A number 1 douche

weeks turning ot alright

Tuesday went out to el monte to meet up with the KAAAAAAAAAAAN to talk bidness and made it back through multitudes of traffic.

Yesterday, Halloween, normally my favorite holiday though it's been falling the last coupla years. I just don't wanna wade through the crowds in WEHO and attempt parking. We started off going to the Edward Weston exhibit at the Getty. Highly recommended by myself and the fish. We came back and got ready to greet halloween goblins for our 1st chance at giving out sugar instead of blasts from a hose. First trick or treater, had to be 16 wearing pajama bottoms, with a pink hoodie. what was that?!? from there it was on. i was gonna give the crap candy to those too old to be doing it and let them know. Then i'd wait with the pressure washer for them to mess with the house. It never came. But the lil'uns would get the majority (aka-large handfulls of candy). It tapered after about a half dozen ghouls (or princesses moreso). We walked the kids finding TONS of teenagers running about and some with huge pillow cases of candy wearing nothing but a a lakers jersey and not attempting too hard to actually look like a white laker. I know one "Nastyman" that just had to step out his door and he'd already look like Luke Walton who knows if he got any candy for the genetic effort. I digress. Not many more and no tricks played on us. Could be the copious amounts of manure on our lawn. After this oyie got home and showcased his kareoke machine for us that SCORES your performance. we started off bad but ended just as equally bad but with better scores and sore throats. thing is bad ass. People should have fun with that as it is chiefly for this weekends housewarming. Better than pin the tail on the jackass. we'll see how that rolls.