It's spreading like a chuckfection

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the vagina when she didn't give him exact change.

Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have your normal human-style, male nipples. He has a Dodge Ram hood ornament on each pec, and both rams blow smoke out of their noses each and every time he pumps Christy Brinkley.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

One day Chuck Norris looked in the mirror and said "No one outstares Chuck!" He is still there to this day.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

more up chuck

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the eff down.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will eff you up.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Marbles 'N' Gravel.

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.


If you liked those then follow the links below to some more. Some are repeats and some are originals.

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

http://www.livingcity.net/viewtopic.php?t=4918&sid=ee147623e6809378a994d73d13431703

http://thebignoob.com/Blog/341/chuck

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I don'ts got much to say. But a daily observation as i tend to make even the largely insignificant stories into something affirming and from my head interesting but did y'all get no spam today? (southern reference ill included) I got very little unlike the multitudes of spam i have to look at a day, but none to day, i would think that being in cyberspace they gotta have internet holidays. Award shows? Just a day they say, "let's lay off those fucks and hit em twice as hard the next day. Fuck it I say. I got only 35 or so. i'll call that a good day.

i've taken to using boomshalakka in my daily lexicon, it's working out pretty well for me. i'll keep you posted on somewhat daily updates. It's been hard to write i play with the dog, alot. Wanna hear about it? Wanna see more pictures? i could do audio posts of how loud he snores. it's loud.

piece

can't find that winner? look here

Welcome to MailOrderHusbands.net: The future of online dating for singles.

Pirates

We must all thank Jenn K for this. She's a good swabby, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

YouTube - Pirate Convention - SNL

Are You Generic?

Hey all,

Are You Generic approached Branded for an interview, so check it out!!!!
www.areyougeneric.org/archives/2006/01/interview_branded.php

They have some really thought provoking projects, and am really grateful that they even considered talking to me. Make sure to check out the rest of the website (after you read my interview of course :-)

Also give Bastard Artist some love for the great photo (we will have video of this paste soon!!).
www.bastardartist.com


Are You Generic?

Atleast I can say he kicked my ass.

i'll be back

socks

Ohhhhhh, if you knew me you'd know exactly how many of these i have.

socks

My boy Mike is having a card game, c'mon over!

Just had to post it. just had to.

eff the adoption snootiness. I save them from facists.

The pound people were actually really nice, I just needed adequate setup. I found a pooch on a site on Friday that jumped out and me as "the one." I couldn't get to him on Friday so I got up early as hell on saturday morning and went to get him. The second I saw him he didn't bark a bit, but his butt wagged the rest of his body and he just got really happy. I got him out of his enclosure and walked him to check his joints. He looked good and was super strong pulling me on the leash. He got chipped and they let me know he was quarantined for Kennel Cough, and that he'd need to be fixed. They let me take him home that morning and I decided on a name before I left. He didn't have a name like the multitudes of other dogs there only A771442 and he was set to live for 25 more days. So I figured with the dark and dank surroundings and the duhumanization (caninization?) that he resembled a concentration camp detainee, so naturally I would give him a Jewish name. HIRAM!!! yes you can call him Hymen (everyone else is) or Hye for short. he's getting the hang of it and is pretty dang smart but more than anything he's the sweetest dog ever! He did a ton of sleeping cause he got out of jail and was sick so the 1st 24 were just adrenaline for him. Yesterday was better but at night it was pretty cool and he was panting really heavily and hotter than a hot water bottle. So i took him to a 24 vet, they referred me to another one, who also referred me to another one (no it's not 12:30 am, i love driving around in the middle of the night) Good thing is he's pretty good in cars. He just lays his head in my lap and snoozes. He was pretty good after a long car ride as the vet said but still got antibiotics. he was not too happy this morning evident by him sneezing in my face blowing a huge thing of snot all over me. But thats okay. He's now my kid and I love him. But it's been an expensive weekend, but well worth it. I tell you people are all over him in public. Wish I'd get noticed 1% as much as him.

dammnit

So I was shot down from the lab adoption agency that i was going through. The insurance policy that the homeowner has only covers up to a 35 lb dog. That only nixes me with sclrr. I've been scouring (no joke-no site left unturned by me) the net all day and found some beauties that I'm going to drive all over southern california to look at this weekend. I will not be turned away from my loving pooch.

The Bird Machine

went and saw this guy, Jay Ryan last night. hooked me up with a free print, bought another one and picked up his book which he signed/illustrated. Pretty cool guy from Chicago that does just sick hand drawn images to silkscreen. No digital process at all. Pretty damn cool.

The Bird Machine

sweet jesus more gray hair

I went to grab for my ipod this morning when i got to work to no avail, i didn't have it. I just thought oh i must've left it at home. But then I didn't remember ever having it out. Did I leave it at work? Nooooo, I don't do that. Did I leave it at the gas station? Hell nah i lock up if it's unattended (but out of site). I had to have left it at work and my coworker knows it's my first born and would surely put it away. This is my thought process as I get more and more worried and then go check my car to make sure it didn't fall on the side of my seat. I was seriously starting to freak out then i realized it was in the hidden pocket of the vest I was wearing yesterday and still is. THANK YOU memory. I was punchy yesterday and coked up on alot of energy drinks. It's like frantically looking for a child in a parking lot to find that they're just hiding. Yes I referred to it like a child....you got something to say to that? I got sleep, I got to watch LOST, and I got a tattoo design done that looks pretty cool if i must say myself.

mildly funny

Here's some facts about Chuck Norris:

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."
After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths
have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate,
but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to
him.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school
football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let
him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked
the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl
in the stadium.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said,
"Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five
minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a
few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When
his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the
face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a
list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir."
That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state
down.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the
speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was
flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a
beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or
dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He
always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris
did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying
"booya".

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His
reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he
roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris
you may be only seconds away from death.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler
did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by
Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If
you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my
virginity." then you are dead wrong.

unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnh, huh?

I need a couple more hours sleep. Who said it was a good idea to go out on Tuesdays? I need pictures first



Latin comedy night at the improv. place was freaking packed. WHERE'RE ALL THE WHITE LADIES AT?!? Oh.....waitaminnit



I didn't know her before the night, but don't mind knowin her now.



very small portion of the happy hour crew



Who's ass am I trying to pinch? Seriously, what the hell was I doing?

Jack Hammer Johnson

Jack Hammer Johnson

oh man thats just bad, but pretty funny

woah

I need some input here

I'm checking dog names. I wanna hear from the profane to the nice, to the dubious all of it. Y'all might know I want a lab, thats about the only dog I'd want right now. But I have a theory that dogs, cars and bongs, name themselves but I want something in the ballpark so if the pooch is of a certain variety and definitely my people then the name will be fitting.

So far here are submissions: (all will be considered but alot will be vetoe'd)

Gang Bang (oyies submission-nuff said)
Boy (ummmmmm, i'm not gonna share how i got this one)
Clementine (oooooooooooooh, this may be it)
Anaheim (i dunno, it would be more proper to call it Los Angeles of Anaheim)
Soscia- actually sounds pretty good
Hohoqui-(indian also can be shortened to Hoe)
Cecil- cause he may be an old fart
Satchel- only if it's a black lab
Satchmo- ditto
Ferdinand


feel free to add your own.

whats football

went back up north and helped the sister clean the backyard. filled a pretty big bin completely. It rained then was really nice. We grubbed a huge dinner of tritip, kick ass salad and potatoes. Fell asleep in the first 10 minutes of mr and mrs smith worked somemore on sunday. the boys were fun. i dig the basketball games, they're freaking hilarious. I have like 10 lbs of sausage. it'll all be tasty.

Tomorrow the dog adoption lady comes by for a home visit. She's bringing her lab to scout the house. i figure they'll just check out places that might need fixing and things that need to be out of the way for a pooch. I'm pretty excited. I want this dog. Not sure which I'm getting. I'd say black is on the top of the list, then yellow, tehn chocolate. Either way, i love the breed. i just wanna love the dog and take it everywhere.

rap at yous later.

This shit is THIS freaking close to my house?!?

New Monkey Studio

not lookin better

Last night Sayshuh and I went to the Hammer musuem for a bit of old school comic viewing. They really are really old, but gorgeouly drawn, original comics.

Comic Art

It was freaking awesome and they also had early 19th century japanese woodblock prints from Frank Lloyd Wrights collection.

After that we hit up diddy reese for freshly baked cookie/ice cream sandwich goodness. $1 per. 3 regular cookies (no helado) $1.

Tonight is lacma for a little bit of camille and paul Pisarro-Cezanne my new museum companion is sick and flaked so I have a bottle of wine and some cheese and crackers that are gonna go to waste not to mention the ticket. Show closes monday. Any takers? Be quick. All my backups are pretty much out too.

not looking too good

CNN.com - 'Lost' actress tells court she's sorry - Jan 13, 2006

fercrissake

I fell asleep at the beginning of lost last night. It was a mighty good dinner, with a bit too much wine i guess. It's tivo'd but i lost out on alot of water cooler skinny as everyone was sure I already had new clues (which i do) and by tomorrow all the message boards will be full of shit again.


Big BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO on me.

Highly recommended by me

I use it, so should you

there is a good but not all that amazingly interesting story as to why i love it, but I'll save that for another time.

ya know what

If you're eating pringles, it's almost doing yourself a disservice by eating multiple chips stacked standardly at the same time. If you do, you're missing out on the salty goodness that is lying on the bottom side of the 2nd and subsequent chips. I did it inadvertantly at the bottom of the can. I wish I had that chip back.

On this subject, how would one go about eating multiple pringles whilst getting alternate sides of goodness. Is it possible without crumbling the crisps? I know thats an option but doesn't everyone try to get the whole chip in their mouth with as much of the shape as possible? You know the ones that are already broken...you try your best to keep them whole until their demise is completed in your boca.

Wednesdays are wedtastic

New Lost is tonight. I've waited 6 weeks for this crap and poured over way too much crap on the net and not gotten enough. We're going to cook up some tasty sausages from Arroyo Grande.

I'm going back up there this weekend. I hope it doesn't rain cause the weather there was perfect. I'm actually looking forward to it.

Today is an experiment. I have about 40 gigs of music so it's a wide variety. I'm getting caught up listening to the same bands though so there are specific rules as to vetoes of certain bands or musicians. But I must say the second random song that came up was Rock this Town by the stray cats so that was pretty cool. We'll see how it goes.

Atleast I got up for work

I got up to San Luis Obispo (area) around lunch, ran to Farmers market, got tomatoes, grapes, the biggest heads of broccoli, cauliflower you've ever seen, cherry tomatoes, navel oranges, tangerines (that I'm eating currently) and a ton of gourmet sausages if you know them, there're andouille, opie, cajun, hot italian, garlic herb chicken, apple raspberry chicken, and a couple others that are escaping me. Then made it to the elders nephews bball game where they got a whuppin laid on them by a little iverson. Kid was wicked good. Seriously, he was like 3 foot nothin and was putting up threes from the adult reg 3 point line and sinkin them. We then got kick ass burgers in Pismo and back to the homestead to try out the lawnmower i took up. didn't work so we cleaned out the garage. Never seen it organized, once but it is somewhat now. Then went and got a new lawnmower and went back had dinner and watched crash. (Ask me about it, it was good but a bit over the top) Then crashed. Got up the next morning to start up the mower and it was the wrong one so I took it back and got a new one. Then back home to tear the yard apart. It was looking good until scott the gay boyfriend (not mine) came over and we demo'd the patio overhang, it was tough, viney, and I was pooped. Put it in a pile and then called the "pile" to get a bin so the stuff could be hauled away. All the while we're doing this 2/3'rds of the sweetest nephews in the world were washing (wetting/drying) neighborhood cars for $5 a pop. I indulged cause it's cool they can do that in this day and age. I then showered and we went to dinner and I headed home. I'm beat. My body is bruised (seriously, i have a gnarly one where I came one inch from losing some of my child making capabilities after falling off a bench and hitting the corner of it). It's pretty funny tho, my hands will randomly cramp into the claw. I can't think of a more gratifying weekend. I had a blast and have kick ass veggies and sausage to show for it. I'll go back this weekend to finish the job and get more veggies.

This segues me into the greatness of the ipod. Long car rides are made much much better with 40000+ songs to listen to with a perfectly clear day and great music at a very loud volume. It was a heaven drive. All ocean with more than 40 miles visibility along some of the most gorgeous coast. You could see structures on the Channel Islands off the coast. Just sick I tell you. I just need to pick up wine next weekend.

Stagefright

So I'm not one to be bashful if you know me. I'll talk to people (randomly in the bathroom). But you almost have to have a couple cocktails in you, know the person, or have some kind of awkward moment between you and whomever is doin their business in said bathroom. But unique occurances scramble my ability to laugh off an odd sitch. Upon entering a bathroom and you see someone of significance (ie, celebrity, executive higher than thou, someone you don't like) and I have a choice of choosing a urinal or a stall, I'll choose a stall to avoid hangin next to them. I moved to said stall and saw his foot chillin there and for the life of me i was able to get out a quick burst and that was it. I heard him then at the sink and then exiting and here it came. I wonder if the prostate is directly connected to the brain. Same thing with doors.I was reading on someone elses blog about the awkwardness of holding the door and the relative distances of those you're holding the door for and making them quickstep over to it. I was on the active end of the quickstep and just wished the guy let the door go. I had my key out.

i like it when their breath smells like eferdent

I was driving hometoday and sitting at a light and a lady, gotta be in her late seventies in a white convertible chrysler le baron pulls up really close with a car length ahead of her and stares at me. I get the feeling she wants to ask me some thing so I look over at her and she just stares and is gumming her teeth a little. I smile and she gives me the a.o.k. fingers, I give her the thumbs up and sorta look away. She doesn't move and i grab for the pod and look at her through my sunglasses and shes staring hard. I try not to look directly at her or bust up and we sat there for a little bit but i looked up when the light turned green and she didn't move but blew me a kiss and winked.

I say, thats hot, i say. Very appropriately. Now I wished i talked to her.

It better be this nice this weekend

It's 80 plus outside and clear as anything. The nasty Santa Anas have died down. I wish i was hiking. Atleast I'm going here this weekend for myrth with the sister and nephews. Should be fun. I'll be glad to be outta dodge for a couple.

See if any y'all get this

It's old school. But if you know american roots music you know who he is.




nope take another guess. I made this one easy

pretty funny skits

They're all snl writers now

The Lonely Island | TheLonelyIsland.com

One of the best SNL skits i've seen in a long time

This cast is gonna be alot better....I hope

DevilDucky - Lazy Sunday: The Chronicles of Narnia Rap

Happy New Year people

Friday and Sunday I was in bed all day. Din't do shit, not a damn thing. Sat in bed all day and watched tv. I was still a bit funktified from whatever was ailing me. It was raining hard most of the weekend, so no hiking, no biking, no nada. Saturday was cool, it was only gonna be myself, dron and jaime, but it turned into the wellands, the kans, the chous, oyie, the friedmans and myself. Sasha had another friend and his girlfriend over. We lit a very limited number of fireworks, had some digiorno's and some lumpia and all was good. It was a very good time. Monday was another day off. I made it to brents for breakfast and back to moms to chill the rest of the day. Got some drawing, designed some and played with the cat. it was nice, damn nice, the friggin house was 82 degrees. i was wearing shorts no problem. Got some drawing done after some herbal healing. Hope you all have a great new year and every slate is clean and you can take all your new lessons and apply them to whenever shit hits the fan this year.