damn humans

This is where I root for nature...alas nature loses.

good shit

the rubber band ball to end all rubber band balls

3....have her open the box

chalk one for our side in the war on drugs!!!

I love Mexico

and in breaking wi...news

I have really bad gas...

thank you soy tacos

that is all.

aight thats it for my weekly ketchup

time to reduce my vehicular strikes

y'all know about my hood bender last week, well last night i got hit with the traffic camera even though i was through the intersection. The onramp to the freeway is just past the intersection and some jackass 2 cars ahead decided he didn't want to get on and we were forced to slow to a stop and i was in the proper side cross walk when i got the flash of the camera in my face and behind me. i didn't notice any other cars but i was through just butt of car in the crosswalk. i hope they see past it. then this morning i'm looking at my dented dusty parked next to my work patio and there is water coming from under it. I talk to the office car dude and he said that he was really certain it was the water pump.

"how long do i have? til monday when i take my car into the mechanic?"

"no, doubt it. if you don't drive it at all till monday you should be fine but it'll go and then you'll be fucked."

so i took it in just to get that done, and tomorrow dusty gets new tires, and monday gets the whole shebang from his regular mechanic. good times. is there CAR-ma?

slappin bitch slaps

Slapping Girls - video powered by Metacafe

names are changed to protect the entirely guilty

So a distant friend of mine that has a twisted sense of humor. You may know her as blurred face as she has appeared on overlyverbose before. Well it just so happens that the ones that have received possibly the most negative comments are back to receive more. It all started about a week ago, round about, the details are fuzzy as is their memory due to the influx of liquid memory eraser. During the course of the night with many a libation consumed, said parties had arrived at Zebe's Funeral Parlor (again names changed to protect the guilty and cut down on internet searching). Zebes had been home to a holiday nativity of the ultimate Aryan persuasion since 1959. Well this nativity through Fathers graces seems to have made it through the years unscathed.

Until now.

Said distant friend to a largely unknown blogger that he/SHE had woken up the next morning with the following picture in her inbox and said somewhat skewed eyeball baby (with full head of flowing locks created on its day of birth)was in his/HER possession.



also see slightly skewed eyeballs



Well also unbeknownst to her were more images of the prior night and their activities. Not like he/SHE had any part in this as he/SHE might or might not have been too inebriated to remember his/HER participation. Either way she felt the guilt for having said doll that has lived longer than either real thing or it's original maker probably has (no not that original maker). The guilt was such that he/SHE could not keep baby Hey-seuss in his/HER possession any longer and returned baby Hey-seuss to the local law enforcement agency with the explanation that some damn fool kids must have been playing a prank and left it on his/HER doorstep.

The following images you may find disturbing, but considering that these masterminds are my kind of scum, they will be sitting at my VIP table in midget/black/clown/etc Hell.

making out with Hey-seuss

href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/4921/1058/1600/743557/jesus3.jpg">

posing after autographs with the man the legend.



took the shades off for the pic atleast




would this be heisman hey-seuss or touchdown jesus ala southbend? you do the wrath



Well... tasteless? yes, I didn't steal, photograph or take part; but actually historically accurate if you think aryan enough. Now, I'm just as bad. Shut up bitches.



It's a haircut right?



Made in HIS image




For your info, Hey-seuss has been returned to his warm safe resting place, most likely with padlock to the back of the neck.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhfffffffffffuck

so after a kinda shitty night last night and a forgiving morning i was driving to work on the fuckingfourohfive i was scratching my forehead going about 5-8 miles an hour i open my squinted eyes and saw the back end of a semi way too close. i hit the brakes which didn't make a sound cause i was going so slowly went under the semi's bent bumper and left about a 3 foot dent in my hood and breaking the casing on my right headlight and pushing it in about 1/4 inch. It still works and Dusty is definitely drivable but with a pretty good ding and scar on the hood. Good times.

the silver lining which i thought of right away. i didn't hit a normal person. there was zero damage to the truck. i don't have to pay for my car and their car. dusty is drivable with no real immediate safety concerns. i wasn't hurt. I have a pretty good bit of money coming my way. funny thing is i was surprised but i didn't get that shocking feeling that goes down your back and out your butt. never got it. i didn't get really angry. que sera sera i guess. i've been putting out the kharma like a friggin chameleon so SOMETHING has to come back to me. i hope. aight on to a day i don't want to compete in. GOOD MORNING!!!

assistance needed

Okay apparently i have a problem. An unintentional problem. I have the tendency of leaving gifts behind after i do personal business. Flushable business. Perhaps you know of someone with the same affliction. Maybe I learned it from my dear sister. Maybe there is some subconcious motive. Either way if you know of ways to help me to remember and tip that little handle sending my byproduct on it's happy way.

now to cleanse your mind

monday is for people that work

I sat at work yesterday and finished a ton of invoices that hopefully will get paid before xmas. Daddy needs to pay for alot of stuff. I did get a happy visit on the tail end of working from ms. shoe-for-everyday-of-the-week. We went and found her a ton of shoes and went shopping for other stuff. Quite a bit of a lovely dinner at sisley with super generous portions of giant salmon filets. It was good. I wasn't expecting her back from ms. shoe-for-everyday-of-the-week sr's visit. Actually i was extremely happy to see her. weird, but not so weird. Thas about it so far. I'm twidling my thumbs right now.

Oh dig this, i was out on the patio at work and I look at the vending machine and just happen to walk to it and check out whats on top as it looked out of place but the jackass left the money bag from emptying it on top. There was a pretty fat wad of ones and more than a few silver coins in it. I thought, and thought but turned it in. Dude'll probably get in trouble especially considering that I've been asking him to throw all my former coworkers desk supplies into it for two months now. If he does it, I'll speak positively on his behalf. I mean I coulda eaten at taco bell for like a month on that shite.

check this out. one of my lovely friends at work collects parts (mostly chrome of old cars) check out the cuda side panel cover she gifted me today. bad freaking ass even if it is with a camera phone.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...........fluuuuuuush

It's sunday....I'm at work. Why? well not to really work. I have to do some personal design/photoretouching/invoicing/blogging/blogreading/streaming/music ripping/farting/office spelunking.

Alas the computer at home still doesn't work, and Ms. Martini.x4 is visiting her mom all weekend.

Friday brought an okay week to an end. I got to usurp my superior for the sake of better design and had her superior agree with me as the former quickly recanted and agreed with me as if she always had. Then we met up with Sayshuh at the best seniorsdivebar with best filipino bartender on the westside. Swilling quite a few back Ms Martini and Sayshuh and I got pretty tipsy before going to Typhoon for some eatin for MasterVics birthday. Alot of the regulars showed up even though are obviously missing due to moving really far away. It was good. I will review it for losanjealous as there was some unique eating of toxic insects and large ugly carp.

Saturday, I slept...during the day!!! go fig i dont do that very often and then drank enough to knock me out early. I needed it. I was tired and have to be fresh for this week.

ummmm aight thats it. i'm gonna crank my johnny cash and walk around the office naked.

winkwanknudgepudge

aaahhhhh wiki