smoke em if you've got em

I'm not smoking hopefully for a good long time. I'm just goin cold turkey. It's high time. I did it before, I can do it again and I don't need the ultimatum from a girlfriend to do it. But I smoked my last one at 5:15 Monday night. I'm jittery, I'm not all that focused, I fell asleep early last night. I can't afford to smoke em and theres a million things I have to do in my life that I said I'd do before I turned 30 and thats 6 months away so what better way to quit one thing and start another?

I still want to just take off, I want to skip the holidays. I don't want gifts, I don't want parties, I don't even want company right now. I don't want computer replacements, dvd replacements, nothin. I'm not a big fan of christmas or what it means now or the commercialism it's become. The only thing I like about it is seeing the kids which is crazy cause thats one of the reasons that it's so commericialized but it makes me warmer than anything on the inside seeing them. I'm just tired and want this month, year whatever to end. I'm not one to usually be the pessimist or to not have something funny to say, but i just don't have it in me right now.