damn thats alot of matzo

I had a wonderful experience at seder. It was pretty formal. I wore a yarmulke. Imagine that fitting on my huge fro for Irish hair. We sat for like 2 hours going through traditional prayers before eating. We stood, prayed, then downed wine. You can't have any other alcohol other than 4 wines. There was a plate of bitter spices (parsley) that we had to dip in salt water and eat. Strong salt water. I had so much matzo before we ate I was bloated but had a somewhat nontraditional meal of matzo ball soup, brisket with matzo stuffing, then a matzo cake, and walnut/apple/cinnamon/nutmeg thing that I could only bare a bite of in fear of an allergic reaction, which I got a bit of. Carrots, green beans, more matzo crackers with something on it. I layed off the gefilte fish with matzo as when I had that last time, I wanted to blow chunder and I was just about up on my quota for matzo. It was still cool, you have to hide a blessed piece of matzo from the elder, in this case Adam's father that led the ceremony. We went though alot of pomp explaining why the jews had to flee, the hand washing in silence (but you can hum) Moses' upbringing, the ten plagues, and such. At the end, the ceremony can't finish until the elder offers something for the over-celebrated hidden matzo, and we all got 10 bucks from the pot that was predetermined because thats how much he had. This is cool because it creates a dialogue as to how that money is split and how righteous that decision is. By this time we're all pretty buzzed cause of the wine so it's really amiable conversation. We ended with everyone saying what passover meant to them and it was pretty informal but genuine (there were quite a few non jews that were friends of the kids and friends of the family).

We had a marvelous time, ending with coffee, tea, and pastries.

It was pretty cool. If anyone knows me, they know that i'm pretty removed from the Catholic faith, but i do admire the Old Testament. Food was good, the lessons, were good. I now know that there are 613 commandments in judaism and thats me birfday so they can't be all that bad. It was damn fun with wonderful people, some I knew for ages and some that I met tonight, I felt like I knew them for my whole life, plus Claire's friends were nice as anything and well, I mustn't say. So if none of this is new to you, you just wasted a few minutes, but it was new to me, fun, and enjoyable with good food and good people. It was a valuable experience especially for sitting at a dinner table for 5 hours. Aight, well, I'm done, and wanna go to bed so I can attempt to digest the unleavened bread. Woof, lots of unleavened bread. Does this make me Jewish?

Thank you Tenenbaums and L'chaim or something like that, I'm not touching matzo for a year atleast, not even at Brent's Deli