what really sucks

i already slept for 18 hours, fucked up my sleep pattern. popped a million pills, changed my eating and i feeling like i'm sicker than i was. Now that i'm working while sick theres a ton of other people with the same thing. achy back, neck, congestion, plugged ears, fever, exhaustion, and a sore throat that keeps getting WORSE! I'm missing Bloc Party tonight cause i don't want to stand outside and get MORE sick. I'm missing playing with the nephews that think i'm better than sliced bread. I'm missing out on featured lovin nights. Is this what 30 means? I mean i used to do all this despite being sick and chuck in a couple nights of heavy drinking and drugs. Now i don't and i still feel like ass. If it weren't for bananas, tomatoes and red bull i wouldn't be coherent.

BAH, i can't even blame it on the lubba for sucking the life out of me, she's been awesome. Almost friday. I wanna be good for Pee Wee in the cemetary, please buddha let me get better.

i'm not looking for sympathy, i'm just venting....gas, which is finally back thank you, i needed it